Comments on: When Is It OK to Break Up Over Email? http://techcoquette.com/2009/07/when-is-it-ok-to-break-up-over-email/ The art of online flirting Tue, 27 Jul 2010 09:25:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Molly http://techcoquette.com/2009/07/when-is-it-ok-to-break-up-over-email/comment-page-1/#comment-2423 Molly Thu, 24 Dec 2009 08:03:48 +0000 http://techcoquette.com/?p=428#comment-2423 It's been a week. Now, after much reflection, I must admit that the breakup email I received from my boyfriend was true to his nature. The email started off with platitudes...how much he loved, admired and respected me, how great the sex was, and then said that he wanted a "time-out, at a minimum." He sent the email a few days after he revealed that he had been secretly seeing other women ("innocent" according to him) for the last seven months. He said that he kept quiet because he didn't want to cause problems. At the end of the email, he said that he wanted to be "friends" again. (We were friends for about 7 years before we dated.) After the email, I learned that he was on a "time-out" from his last girlfriend when he dated me. (He told that the relationship had ended last year.) "Time-outs" are for two year olds. It's an excuse to keep your options open while you look for something better. "Keeping secrets" is way to avoid conflict, as it breaking-up by email. This is one selfish, avoidant, insecure man. There were plenty of warnings that he was a keep-your-options-open man...and capable of breaking up by email, but I didn't trust my instincts. He assessed me as suspicious, angry, jealous, emotional, over-sensitive, etc. Nothing could be talked out...it was good if I would be a doormat.(I'm in counseling.) I thank you for the opportunity to vent through email. (We'll be friends again...when hell freezes over.) It’s been a week. Now, after much reflection, I must admit that the breakup email I received from my boyfriend was true to his nature. The email started off with platitudes…how much he loved, admired and respected me, how great the sex was, and then said that he wanted a “time-out, at a minimum.” He sent the email a few days after he revealed that he had been secretly seeing other women (“innocent” according to him) for the last seven months. He said that he kept quiet because he didn’t want to cause problems.

At the end of the email, he said that he wanted to be “friends” again. (We were friends for about 7 years before we dated.)

After the email, I learned that he was on a “time-out” from his last girlfriend when he dated me. (He told that the relationship had ended last year.)

“Time-outs” are for two year olds. It’s an excuse to keep your options open while you look for something better. “Keeping secrets” is way to avoid conflict, as it breaking-up by email.

This is one selfish, avoidant, insecure man. There were plenty of warnings that he was a keep-your-options-open man…and capable of breaking up by email, but I didn’t trust my instincts. He assessed me as suspicious, angry, jealous, emotional, over-sensitive, etc. Nothing could be talked out…it was good if I would be a doormat.(I’m in counseling.)

I thank you for the opportunity to vent through email. (We’ll be friends again…when hell freezes over.)

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