Comments on: When Is It OK to Break Up Over Email?

By: Pia Amodeo

Pia Amodeo — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 02:55:13 +0000

You might have impeccable writing skills! You make some valid points with which I agree and I think this is actually excellent reading material. Thank you.

By: Nicole Runnels

Nicole Runnels — Sat, 14 May 2011 21:56:00 +0000

I do not believe that it’s right to break up with someone over an e-mail. I think it’s very hurtful to do so.

By: John

John — Fri, 06 May 2011 00:37:11 +0000

Well I’m on the other end of this conversation. I actually wrote my Girlfriend a letter(which I haven’t sent) where I described the issues in our relationship, and why I feel the way that I do. When it comes to other people’s feelings I’m a sucker/push-over, I’ve broken up with my girlfriend times before but I would get with her a few moments after simply because I couldn’t bare to see her cry. I never want to be the bad guy who broke someones heart because my heart was broken by someone that I loved and I wouldn’t wish the same on another let alone be the one breaking it. I figured that after 6 months of dating and countless arguing I could simply write her an email and not have to see her in person as to avoid seeing her cry. The issue now is that Its not of me to just send an email and hope for the best, I’m going to print my email and just read it in front of her. This way I’ll be able to say everything that was on my mind but at the same time give her the respect that she deserves and say it to her face. My best option for the future is just to stay single so no one gets hurt. Wish me luck.

By: Still Hurt

Still Hurt — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 05:02:28 +0000

I totally understand Marge. I was with someone for 7 years and he blindsided me with a break up e-mail. We were together on Friday and on Monday I get the e-mail. HUH??? I had no idea. I still can’t believe it (it’s been 3 weeks). I also believe it is cowardly but he doesn’t think so. We have spoken once and I agree with Princess. Leave him alone. It’s hard but move on. He is the one with the problem.

By: princess

princess — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 06:43:27 +0000

For a man to send a break up e-mail, says alot about his cowardness. I think he just doesn’t want to deal with an argument. He has some deep issues that you might not be aware of. More so of emotional stress. He is confused in his life. If you really want him back, the best advice is to leave him alone. Do NOT contact him at all! Also, hang out with your girls, and take a little time out before you start dating again. I wouldn’t wait more than 3 months for your ex to come back. If 3 months pass by and you hear nothing from him, then I would move on completely. I am sure he has started talking to other girls already. He prob had a back up plan. If he cant find anything better than you, he will come back running. Again, that would be a selfish trait in him.. I personally think he is a pretty selfish guy that insulted you be writing a break up email. He has a lot to learn what life is all about. You need to focus on your self. My advice.. go to the salon, get your hair done.. your facial. get a massage. look pretty and feel pretty.. because you are a PRINCESS!!!!

By: Marge

Marge — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 19:02:33 +0000

My boyfriend of 9 years broke up with me via email. He sent the email at 2:17pm that afternoon, but he picked me up from work at 5:00pm and never said anything about the email. When he dropped me off at home I opened my email and to my total surprise there it was. I could not believe he could sit in a car with me for that long and not have the decency to tell me he sent me a “Dear John” email. I am livid. I felt I was owed more than that after 9 years with him. He doesn’t see it that way.

By: kinpatsu

kinpatsu — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 23:44:31 +0000

I dumped a guy via email after about six weeks together, but it was because he was a cop who would drink WAY too much and then become verbally abusive–and who always carried his (loaded) gun with him even when off-duty. I didn’t feel like having him anywhere near me with that potentially lethal combination.

By: Erica

Erica — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 00:43:52 +0000

I had started seeing a guy in July, neither one of us were looking for a serious relationship. We went out once or twice a week for 3 months and had a nice time each date, usually dinner and long conversations afterwards. Then one week, I heard from him but nothing about going out, so I suggesting getting together the following week … I knew his schedule was pretty packed. By the following week I knew something was up and then there it was THE EMAIL. You’re great, but I haven’t developed the feelings I thought I would by this point. While in an email, I was offended but that’s honest enough & I’m an adult. It was PS that ticked me off: I regret doing this via email and there’s no need to meet to discuss, it won’t make either of us feel any better.

Honestly, the email dumping didn’t bother me it was the PS.

It was cowardly to do it this way & believe I deserved at least the courtesy of a face to face after 3 months.

By: Angel

Angel — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 02:59:36 +0000

Absolutely inexcuseable in a long term relationship. It shows the person breaking up to be an absolute immature, insecure, coward… or just narcissistic and cold hearted. As you can tell, I am still a bit angered at this moment. I had an on/off relationship with my children’s father for 18 years. He cheated throughout our relationship when we lived in the same place and we separated for 10 years, but it was never truly off all the time. Foolish of me to think, he would grow up and mature one day and we’d be able to sustain a loving relationship. Then one day I found a text from a woman inviting him for the night. I left him and he begged, pleaded and groveled to change and how he was going to fight for his family and be the loving and kind man I do deserve. Ladies, it never happened. He moved back into the house for another few months of torment. I saw us going down the path to destruction and tried to get him to go to counseling, or do family vacations or just talk to me but it didn’t happen. All he cared about was sex and not us. No fixing, no intimate relationship, no family connection, nothing again, sorry sick of porn sex. So here comes the email about how we don’t fulfill each other and he’s moving out in an email. Just as rude as he is. Get the hell out of my life you bastard. I will be fine but I hope your kids aren’t scathed from your ignorance. So is it ever good to break up in a significant relationship, No.

By: Pauline

Pauline — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 05:07:00 +0000

In my case, I sent an email after only two dates–not exactly what I consider to be enough time to qualify as “going steady”. The problem was that he was interested in me but I didn’t feel the same way for him. I just wanted to hang out as friends and have fun. I sent the email to clarify my view of the relationship (purely platonic) and to drive home the fact that I didn’t want it to advance beyond that. I admit that I chose the email option because it was less awkward for me than telling him the sad news to his face (why get his hopes up by contacting him in person/by phone only to tell him that painful revelation?). Still, I felt he needed to know the truth instead of having me prolong the illusion and misleading him to think that there was any potential between us.

I’ve since read many online comments that say it’s always bad form to be breaking up by email but does it really apply to my situation? I don’t believe so. Had our relationship gone on for a year or more, then yes, I think it would be more appropriate to break up in person (unless there’s a safety issue in question, i.e. he’ll likely abuse me over being rejected). No matter how you slice it, break-ups are always hard.