Comments on: Why Girls Don’t Write Back

By: Dawn

Dawn — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:31:24 +0000

I actually had a guy contact me and in his e-mail he said “I notice you have two cats. May I ask how you handle living with that awful smell?”. So I ignored him. Then I get a message from him saying he complained to yahoo personals that he wasn’t receiving any responses and thought there might be a problem and that yahoo told him to contact a couple of women he was “really interested in” and let them know if he didn’t get responses.

I THINK the second message was supposed to make me feel flattered that he liked me or something but the first message was so offensive to me that I originally had to play the “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all” rule. Unfortunately the second message made me feel like a response was required simply to get him to realize why he wasn’t getting the desired response.

Ever since I told him his first message to me was offensive in that it implied that I don’t know how to keep my home clean since I have pets I haven’t heard from him. Probably too much to hope he got the message and eventually found what he was looking for by going about it the right way.

Seriously who says that to a stranger especially someone you supposedly want to date?

By: Murph

Murph — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:45:06 +0000

Thanks for the insight. I did eventually get the hint on the ones who have been off the site for over three weeks. Who would have though Hi or Hey would not cut it in the subject line…

I understand the need to ward off the pyscho’s, however it would be nice to get a no thanks. I agree it is common courtesy, if they respond again then simply block from contact.

BTW, go Hawkeyes….

By: becks

becks — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 08:41:59 +0000

I’m a woman and I USED to be polite reply that I was not interested or hit the button that says the same thing .. but mostly they write you back .. asking why?

So then you have this guy writing you all_the_time. :(

Writing a girl again and again will not make her want to date that guy. She will think he’s a nut. I have even broken this rule and written back to guys like this. In the end – they were nut cases and I wish I stayed with my first instinct. :(

If a guy writes me back (after I either ignore him or indicate I am not interested) 2 times .. I hit the button to block him completely.

By: David

David — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 00:10:51 +0000

I disagree with the comments about women answering every email- men & woman should be considerate- just as in regular life- if the original email was well intentioned and considerate the receiver(man or woman)
should say “Thanks for your attention and compliment. However, you aren’t my type- no offense” or something nice.
Plus most sites have a 1 button you can push to do this – you could go through 25 in about as long as it takes you to see you got them.

Anyone on dating site IS inviting anyone & everyone to email-
if you don’t like that you shouldn’t be on one. Be real – you think only the guys or gals YOU want to email you are the ones going to?

If it is rude in real life – it is rude online(which actually is part of the real world)
If someone or many someones respond poorly or terribly – that is a whole other issue. Be real – just hit delete and now ignore them- wow big problem.
Maybe you should start sending emails & get no response- see how it
feels. I bet you will say what I’m saying.

By: Meghan

Meghan — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:30:37 +0000

@janice allyson Yeah, desperation is definitely the biggest turn-off ever.

@MrMassolo It’s nice to hear some ‘be honest please!’ from a guy. There are definitely creepy guys on dating sites, but this is supposed to be advice for guys who are actually trying, instead of cut-and-pasting lame messages to 50 girls. :)

By: janice allysson

janice allysson — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 12:42:08 +0000

reminds me of a dude on my dating site. on monday he friend-requested me,i accepted. then i fell sick and was off for a couple of days. what went on during my offline time was–he commented on all my pics, on my profile page and sent me messages. then more and more messages came every hour–finally he was upset and was “you said you are interested in me…if you don’t wanna become my friend why did you add me?” he deleted himself from my friends list.

all in two days. the only two days i was offline for the whole month.

here’s a tip guys; don’t act all desperate that even a prospective woman who were initially attracted to you, might be turned off immediately.

By: MrMassolo

MrMassolo — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:47:43 +0000

Or you came on as a creep, asking her to sleep with you right away. Or you said you loved her, just by looking at her picture. This author is being too gentle. Face it guys, you’re over 30 and living with your mother, trying to have immediate sex with someone you don’t know. GO GET A THERAPIST OR A HOOKER! When I used to do the online dating thing, honesty and a sense of humor always worked. Try just being yourself, and making it fun. If you go Jack Webb on her in the first email, guess who isn’t getting a reply? Yep, that be you! Don’t try to impress her, if you’re not impressive. Be who you are, anything else is being fake, and nothing lasting will come of it. Be honest. If you are 5’2″, be 5’2″. If you think tall guys have it all, think again. Growing up, you’re always expected to me more mature. In the business world you’re always chosen as the leader (even if you have no management skills) :), so it isn’t all roses being 6’2″. Plus short women will not date you.