Home » Phones, Texting

Going to Voicemail: Cell Phone Etiquette During Dates

4 September 2009 1 Comment by Justin Dimos

man-cell-phone-dateWallet … check. Car keys … check. Cell phone … check. Patting your pockets or sifting through your bag on the way out, these items are just a few of the essentials that you make certain you have on your person before tackling the day. Your iPhone or BlackBerry stores your weekly planner and helps you choose the nearest, nicest restaurants — how lost would you be without your phone? How can you bare to live without it, every second of the day?

When it comes to dating, however, there are some rules of etiquette to consider while you’re courting your partner. Think for a second — you don’t want a potential love interest getting the wrong impression because you’re paying more attention to your phone. Ever been in the throes of a conversation, only to be interrupted by a ringtone and then a series of text messages that lasts for five minutes? If not, then count yourself lucky. Might as well face it: we’re not only addicted to love, but we’re wacko for our precious phones, too.

But no one’s saying you should ignore your cell. Living in the digital age, there are plenty of ways to use it to add a little charm and romance to an otherwise bland date. Technology is meant to help us after all, and why shouldn’t it help with dating, then? But you’ve got to understand when you’re using a phone to your advantage and when you’re abusing your cell at the expense of your date. Otherwise, you might start alienating yet another catch.

There are no hard-and-fast rules here, as a phone can just as easily save a bad date as ruin a good date. However, the following guidelines should help you navigate the tricky territory of dating in modern times:

  • Don’t accept calls during a good date. That’s just rude. In fact, you should consider turning your phone off altogether. Nothing interrupts a great date more abruptly than a silly ringtone announcing your popularity to everyone.

  • BUT do accept calls during a bad date. A contradiction? Perhaps. But you should always have an easy escape plan when it comes to blind dates, or maybe just those pseudo-dates you’re not sure are going to work. Maybe you just aren’t feeling the spark you thought you might, and would rather just bail. A strategic phone call from a friend can help.
  • Don’t text during your date. Texting can seem even ruder than answering a phone call. Think about the message you’re sending your date: I’d much rather talk to this person who sent me some random note than to you. Not exactly romancing them with your subtle charm or witty anecdotes, now are you? And after you’ve ignored them once so early on, fat chance of getting them interested again. Use a little will power here, people.
  • BUT do text for fun during your date. Texting isn’t off-limits. Truth is that texting can be fun, too. Why not send a flirty text to your date as they wait for your drinks at the bar? Or you can always settle a playful argument by texting ChaCha or Google. If you’re lucky, you could win the wager and have them come to your place for coffee or a drink.
  • Don’t alienate your date by paying more attention to your phone. Your iPhone may manage your life and make your world that much easier, but you’re not looking for a relationship with your cell. Try not to even set yours on the table. Three’s a crowd, so make your choice: your date or your phone? And besides, you’re already on the date.
  • BUT do try to incorporate technology into your date. Who said you can’t find a good sushi place on the west side? With all the applications out nowadays, you can make sure your date progresses smoothly from the restaurant to the bar back to your place without all the hiccups. Remember, smooth is a good quality.
  • Don’t update Twitter about the date. Even if it’s going well, your followers can wait. Your date, however, can’t. Plus, if you’re so plugged in that you need to keep everyone updated about your every move, then you might need to check yourself into rehab and kick the habit. A first or second date is definitely no time to flaunt your geeky technology or social network addictions.
  • BUT do talk about your networks. Almost everyone, even the baby boomers now, have a Facebook account. Some even twitter, blerp, digg, and blog the night away. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your online social spheres — if anything, it’ll give you another way to connect later. Just to prattle on. Hobbies are healthy. Obsessions aren’t.

Your phone is an integral piece of technology and convenience that largely defines how you interact with the world. However, never lose sight of the fact that you’re actually on a date, and that playing with your phone is not only rude, but unattractive, too. A healthy balance between human interaction and cell phone shenanigans can definitely help a romance blossom — the trick is to remember your priorities: date first, phone later.

Comment below: What are your phone rules when it comes to first dates?

Related posts:






One Comment »

  • Rachel said:

    Ugh, texting on a date is SO rude. I feel like either you’re making plans for later or telling your social circle if I’m hot or not.

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.