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BBM Flirting: How to Text Using Blackberry Messenger

14 October 2009 Leave a Comment by Rachel Wilkerson

To those who have one, it’s apparent that a Blackberry is most definitely a Crackberry – highly addictive. Besides having e-mail, Internet, and a decent selection of apps, it also comes with Blackberry Messenger (BBM). Suddenly texting is so 2007. Through BBM, you can have a conversation with other Blackberry users from your device, with a faster turnaround time than texting. But this new system brings with it a new set of rules and etiquette. When do you ping? What if he’s not responding to you? And, most importantly, can you still sext?

Here are some tips:

BBM is a great way to communicate with a potential love interest because it’s so immediate. It’s as convenient as texting, but there’s a faster delivery and response rate – ideal for flirting. Because you have to have permission to BBM people, it’s a bit more intimate than texting.

To get that closeness, it’s best to exchange PINs early on. If he whips out his Blackberry to take your number, say something like, “Oh what’s your PIN?” and add him right away. If you aren’t sure if he has a Blackberry, just ask him during a period of high-texting activity. He’ll understand that it’s just easier and more convenient than texting. Plus, BBM is still something of a novelty; since not everyone has it, most people are excited to find other users.

Once you’ve exchanged PINs, the general rule is that BBM is more like a phone or AIM conversation. When texting you can just shoot a random message whenever you want; in BBM, you should always start with a greeting. Use BBM when you have a specific topic to talk about or you’re making plans. Stick with texting when it comes to witty observations or, “I was just thinking about you” type messages. Once you’ve started chatting on BBM, immediate responses are expected. If that changes, a “BRB” or “Gotta go, talk more later” is absolutely necessary. You can delay between texts without any explanation, but not BBM.

Yes, He Did Read Your Message

BBM also has one feature that texting just can’t offer: it shows users when their sent messages are delivered and then read. This is the best/worst/best again thing about BBM. Gone are the days when a guy could say, “What? I never got that text…” or “Sorry, I passed out early last night and just read this.” Unfortunately that can be bad news for the ladies who are on the sending side. Now you’re faced with, well, evidence. Do you confront? Do you get feisty?

Just because a message is marked as read doesn’t mean a response needs to come within seconds. Sometimes people check a message just to get the red light on their phone to stop flashing, but don’t have time to actually respond to it. Before you freak out, ask yourself if he has a car. It’s so easy to check messages but nearly impossible to respond to them while driving. Give it a little time. Be rational – if it’s morning, give up until the afternoon when he’s probably had a few breaks. If it’s later in the day, give him until bedtime. If it’s a late-night booty BBM, and he hasn’t read it by last call, he very well could have called it an early night.

If too much time has lapsed, though, it’s important to be honest with yourself. Should you continue to BBM him? Should you switch to texting and calling? No. You can take the hint and file it under, “He’s just not that into me.” If he makes contact again, you’re absolutely allowed to call him on it. Don’t act crazy; a simple, “Hey, what’s up? I didn’t hear back from you yesterday” gets the point across. But again, if his explanation seems fishy, take the hint.

Some BBM Hacks

If you want to beat the system when it comes to him knowing whether or not you’ve read the messages he’s sending, you can – sort of. If you see he’s sent you a message, don’t open it. Start a new conversation with someone else (like a trusted girl friend). While you’re chatting with her, your message from him will flash across the bottom of the screen. You won’t be able to read the whole thing, but you can get an idea of what he wants without giving him the coveted “R” check mark.

You can also use BBM to your advantage when you need to guard yourself against unwanted attention. If a guy asks for your number at the bar, give him your pin instead. Then just don’t confirm his request to be added to your contacts. Whoops, sorry, buddy! If you’d rather not give it out at all, just play dumb. “Oh yeah, I have BBM but I never use it. Let me get your number.”

If a fling can’t take the hint and keeps sending you messages despite the fact that you’re just not that into him, change your BBM status. Your status doesn’t mean much – you can still talk to your friends no matter what it says – but a simple “SO BUSY!” will give you a little bit of protection.

If you really need to ditch someone, you can delete him from your contact list. You’ll simply be gone and he won’t be able to contact you again. It’s harsh, but it can be necessary at times. Even if he has your PIN saved, he’ll have to request to be re-added. It’s unlikely he will, but if he’s some sort of a masochist and does, you just don’t have to confirm him.

Oh … and the latest versions of BBM also make it possible to send a file right in the message window. This means sexting is so on! And no need to worry that he got your naked pic, freaked out, showed all his friends, and then decided never to talk to you again. He knows you know he read it, so he has to give you immediate feedback. Both of your red lights will be blinking like crazy.

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