Anyone ready to enter the world of blind internet dating has a plethora of sites to choose from. But if you choose to avoid one of the more obscure niche sites, there’s a good chance you’re going to go with one of the heavy hitters: Match or eHarmony. Both have frequent TV ads and both seem legit … so, how to choose?

According to experienced online daters, “Match.com is for booty calls and eHarmony is for those looking for love.” Hmmmm. Well, if that were true, it would probably make your decision easier! Do you want to put a ring on it? Or just a condom on it?

Round One: The Personality Profile

The major difference between the two sites is how users create profiles and contact each other. Match users fill out a profile that is similar to Facebook; you enter in your interests, job, etc., and you get a 2,000-character “About me” section. You also complete a survey to describe your ideal match. What color eyes does he have? What’s his religion? How important is it to you? Though you answer questions, most of the profile is in your own words. You can also upload several pictures.

eHarmony is a whole different ball game, and, for those who start on Match, as many people do, it’s a bit surprising. The basic questions are the same on both sites (although eHarmony does not allow multi-racial people to indicate that, FYI). You are then asked to fill out a personality assessment in which you rate statements on a scale from “Not at all” to “Very much,” statements like “I seek adventure” or “I often leave a mess in my room.” You do the same thing with words to describe yourself, and then qualities you are seeking in a partner. Then there are true and false questions. (Serious example: “I read ALL the warning literature before taking ANY medication.”) Throughout the assessment, there is a lot of focus on how you feel about religion and morals, how you handle confrontation, and your emotional stability. (“I frequently feel so overwhelmed I cry.” “I have trouble letting go of conflicts.”) There are many questions related to how much you value appearance and how attractive you find yourself. You get a few opportunities to write in your own words, but space is limited. Then you finish by uploading just one picture. (So it better be good, unless your matches are those people who value “inner beauty.”)

For both sites, this step takes about an hour. On Match, you put things in your own words, which can be difficult. On eHarmony, you might get caught up wondering how carefully you read the warning label on that bottle of Tylenol PM.

Round Two: Contact

Without paying any fee on Match.com, you can search for users or browse through your “matches” (the site shows a percentage of how many of the qualities you are looking for the person has). Generally, there seems to be an endless supply of matches. You can also view people’s entire profiles, with pictures. Once you’ve found someone, you can “wink” to say you’ve noticed him. Then — provided you pay the subscription fee — you are free to message whomever you like. If you haven’t paid, you will be alerted when you have messages, but you can’t view them until you subscribe. Subscribers also get a “Daily 5,” five members each day that Match thinks would be just great for you, based on qualities like, “He’s also a non-smoker!” and “Like you, he likes dogs!”

On eHarmony, you are only given a few matches, and they are based on your personality assessment. You can’t browse random profiles. So, you start with, say, six matches, and then you enter “Guided Communication.” Guided communication means you can’t just send them e-mails that say, “Hey, ur hot. :-p” Instead, you answer eHarmony’s questions. Instead of the wink, you can “nudge,” but eHarmony somehow makes it feel more G-rated. The first round of questions includes things like, “If you had to characterize the end of most of your romantic relationships, they would be described as…” and “Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?” (Yes, in the first e-mail.) You can request “Open communication” and take the fast track, but the site – and many users – recommend guided. When you do meet someone you like, it can feel a bit more promising.

The Smackdown

eHarmony is without a doubt more “serious” than Match.com. They know this; they foster their reputation with their marriage-centric commercials, their long-standing unwillingness to allow gays and lesbians to use the site (a lawsuit changed that), and their religious/marriage-oriented questionnaire. However, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad dating site. Perfectly liberal people like it – they may find the questions annoying at first, but then they realize that it can be nice to do things this way. It’s not that they want to get wifed; it’s just that they are sick of all the weird, random messages from every Tom, Dick, and Harry over at Match. On eHarmony, you cannot see people’s profile pictures without subscribing, so it’s really not booty-call friendly.

If Match.com is for booty calls, it’s because anyone who isn’t looking for something serious probably checked out during the eHarmony survey, and definitely upon seeing the words “Guided Communication.” Really, though, Match is just more popular, and the way it is set up allows for a lot of quick communication with a lot of people. Girls may receive 10 winks in a day, and an equal number of messages. There’s definitely a more casual attitude when every frat boy and his brother start using one online dating site. Sure, they are looking (’cause they’ll all say they are “just sick of trying to meet people in bars”) and there are plenty of good guys on Match, but your odds of getting a guy who can’t stop talking about your pictures is a bit more likely on this site. He’ll take you on one date, and then the LNBT just start rollllllling in.

Both sites will produce potentials. But if you don’t have the patience for eHarmony’s Guided Communication, you’ll need to have the patience for the hit-it-and-quit it types on Match.

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