Whether you have a long-distance boyfriend or you’re just into kinky tech stuff (we are!!), video chatting can put a fun spark in your relationship. It’s fun! It feels like The Jetsons! Who doesn’t want to try it!? So you do … and then see your pale face, dark-circled eyes, frizzy hair, and distorted voice and vow to never do it again.

But have no fear. You just need to set the scene!

First, the camera angle is everything. Put the camera in the wrong spot and you could create a double chin and a shadow moustache. Consider that you don’t need the camera super close to your face. If your camera is built into your laptop, try setting it on a coffee table while you sit on the couch. This is a great angle. It’s close enough that your facial expressions are visible, but it creates a buffer zone that can help you look flawless.

And speaking of flawless, you do need to slap on a little makeup. It’s crazy how makeup disappears on camera, so it’s OK – good actually – to be heavy-handed with the eyeliner. And because a web cam can wash you out, you may want to use some bronzer and bright lip gloss. If you really want to be specific, wear blue or green clothing; those colors look best on camera.

Lighting is crucial. You don’t want to use gross fluorescent lights, but if it’s too dark and shadowy, you’ll look like one of those teenagers talking about how much she loves Twilight on MySpace. Natural light can work very well, and lamps are great. You can cover lamps with a sheer scarf to diffuse the light if it’s too harsh.

Clean up the background. It doesn’t have to be immaculate, but you should try to avoid tons of clutter. The focus should be on your lovely face.

Be conscious of where you are looking! This is one of the hardest things to get used to with a web cam. It’s important to look into the camera and at the other person. Do not squint and watch yourself while you are talking. Just trust that you look good; watching yourself will freak you out and make you look worse. And don’t try to multitask; it’s nearly impossible to video chat and keep your instant messenger or BBM chats going.

Practice, practice, practice! You can do it with a friend, or just play around with your web cam by yourself for an hour until you find the right set-up for you. If you do chat with a friend, you can get used to the slightly-awkward pauses/talking over each other that happens with video chatting. It takes a little while to find a natural rhythm, but don’t give up.

Once you feel comfortable with your appearance on camera, it’s hard not to get addicted to video chatting. It can really help with a distance factor, even if your S.O. is just on vacation or you’re traveling for business. A few video chats and it will only be a matter of time before you’re ready to make a sex tape. Talk about kinky tech stuff!

Related: Long Distance Relationships: Keeping the Flame Hot