Comments on: More to Love: Cheating Vs. Polyamory Dating Sites

By: Donna Lydon

Donna Lydon — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 14:37:35 +0000

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By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 12:55:31 +0000

Ethical non-monogamy is a concept that has been around for a long time but is starting to creep into mainstream consciousness.. People who read science fiction have been familiar with the concept for decades, and a group family (several men and several women all married to each other) figures prominently in the current show “Caprica”. But this is no longer a concept that is found only in science fiction and thus subject to marginalization as “a fringe element” by mainstream society. Both “Bones” and the “Mentalist”, two very mainstream shows on major networks, have dealt with the topic of ethical non-monogamy. Thing is, that when it’s ethical, it’s not worthy of gossip and you just don’t hear about it.

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 16:22:42 +0000

Just read your article, and I think you answered your own question about the difference between cheating and polyamory.

Cheating is going out and sleeping with other people, or having a relationship with another person, without the knowledge or consent of your partner.

Polyamory, on the other hand, is defined by the openness of the relationship to other people. Poly people are truly looking to share their love with more than just one person, and have removed the hurdles of jealousy.

A cheating relationship causes feelings of guilt, of pain, and of loss. It is a relationship of exclusion, not of inclusion. A poly relationship, on the other hand, is about sharing, of love, about mutual acceptance, and an understanding of each other’s differences.

There is also a huge difference between swinging and polyamory. With swinging, the couple openly acknowledges that they are going to sleep with other people. They are open and honest about it, but it is only about the sex.

A polyamorous relationship, however, is defined by the personal relationships and love that form between the members. The relationship develops, the relationship is normally long-term, and sex is only a part of the relationship, not the whole reason for it.

My girlfriend and I are polyamorous. We don’t hide it, we don’t flaunt it. We just are. It’s nothing to hide, and not fair to push in people’s faces.