10 Profile Pics to Never Upload
Whether you’re on Facebook or eHarmony (or, God help you, MySpace), a profile picture is pretty important when it comes to your love life. Chances are, that new guy or girl you’re convinced is the love of your life is going to look at your profile in depth. But, like it or not, no one cares what your activities are if you look like a freak in your photo. Here are ten types of profile pics to avoid making your own.
10. The Panorama. Hey, it’s great that you love traveling so much that all your pics are you in front of world monuments (or just the local baseball stadium). But where are you? Oh that is you, in the sunglasses, the hat, and the big jacket, at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro? Funny, I can’t tell a thing about you by looking at that pic.
9. The Insecurity Crop. Most people aren’t looking for a perfect body; they would, however, like to know what your body is like before they meet you. A super-close shot of someone’s face usually says as much about how insecure they are as it does about how hot they are.
8. The Baby Daddy Shot. If you have kids and you want your potential date to know that, fine. If you don’t have kids and you want your potential date to think you like kids … think again. I’m sure I’ll find out you love your nieces and nephews on our first date, but when I see them in your picture, I assume you’re the kind of guy who volunteers at a nursing home just to hit on the hot visiting granddaughters.
7. The Sloppy Snapshot. Yeah, you just want everyone to know you’re so fun … but if a guy clicks through your first five photos and there’s a Jagerbomb in every one, he might question whether you need a date or a sponsor.
6. The Colorblind Pic. Using photo editing software to turn your picture black and white is great if you’re going for a romantic engagement photo. In a profile pic, it’s another form of an insecurity shot; we all know flaws show up best in full color.
5. The Stock Photo. The picture your company takes for “Employee of the Month” is nice and all, but this isn’t a yearbook. A standard blue background and business-wear sends a message that you’re too boring to do the sort of activities where people actually take pictures.
4. The Fluent-in-Sign-Language Shot. Hey, guys, I know you don’t know where to put your hands, but please do not put them in front of your body doing any of the following: one thumb up, two thumbs up, pointing at the guy next to you with a fake-pensive look on your face, making a “Who me?” gesture, making mock gang symbols, or demonstrating the Shocker.
3. The Outdated Photo. If all your pics are you in college gear and college bars, rocking fashion from 2005, or simply looking way too fresh-faced to match the fact that your profile says you’re 28, we’re going to wonder what part of aging doesn’t agree with you.
2. The Hipster Pic. Oh, girl, you’re such an individual with your dirty hair in your face and your refusal to smile. Maybe other members of the doucheoisie are attracted to the “ironic” angle at which you snapped your pic … enjoy your new boyfriend’s mustache and loft.
1. The Groupie Photo. Which one are you again? All I see is five guys with dark brown hair in button-down shirts. That one on the left is pretty cute … oh, that’s not you? Um, well is he on Match too??
Related posts:
- Facebook Photos: To Tag or Not to Tag?
- Shorter, Fatter, Balder: Men’s Misleading Online Profiles
- 10 Do’s and Don’ts for Picking Your Online Dating Profile Picture
Haha, number #1 drives me CRAZY! I always think that the guy is the hot one in the middle, when really he’s the scrawny awkward one on the end who isn’t looking at the camera. But you don’t find that out until picture #5 of course.
[...] I have a new article on TechCoquette: 10 Profile Pics to Never Upload! I personally like #2 [...]
hahahahaha. loved this
This was cool but it was obviously written by a female who may have bombed herself on these sites…when writing a top 10 focus to both genders which u did mainly but we could tell which gender wrote this (maybe that’s why only 3 people have responded)…now if I’m on a primarily female site (which nothing wrong with that) then my faux pas…but I thought this site didn’t cater.
@Ed, this site doesn’t cater. Would you care to share your observations about profile pics in the comments section?
Lol…I’m guilty of the close to face shots, but only because I’m taking my own pics. It was still funny to read though.
I took a pik on myspace from far away wear my body is showing.Is that o.k?
What about the Hippo (curvy) girl trying to hide so many fat rolls her clothes even fails to hide them? Or the girl that has a million pictures of herself just smiling looking like a complete dork after the third picture? I see alot of girls that gotta have a picture of themselves surrounded by 20 guys, Hey are you a whore? LOL, Do all your girlfriends hate you? LOL. Then lastly, the girl who always states in her profile she doesn’t like a guy who has all the nice things he worked so hard for! 1 REASON ( because she doesn’t have anything equally nice) 2 Because she she knows more women will want him for owning his own house, boat, lake home. etc! 3… because he will end up dumping her anyways when he gets bored and wants a new play toy.
I will try a dating site and pick the female with the worst/dumbest picture ever because then I will be pleasantly surprised when she
turns out to be “normal”. And that will be hot!
How about the females who post pictures of their pets? I want to tell those women that I’m not online to find a date with your pet. Another turn off are those who post a picture from two or three years ago and then put a comment with the pic that says “I haven’t changed much and still look the same.” Yeah right!
Oh, man, they left out the worse one. The pic where YOU’RE NOT IN IT. Either they’ve never loaded one so its just an icon (Don’t know how to load a digital pic? Have a friend or the guy at Kinko’s help you out.), or (and in my opinion even more annoying) they loaded a picture of their child or a landscape shot they got out the “sample” folder from Microsoft pictures.
Yes, I know, your baby is cute and those sample pics are pretty; and you think you’re fat or ugly. But unless you’re actually a baby or a tree on a horizon, that should NOT be your profile pic.
I agree with Heather, the person tries to hide in the picture and it takes you a while to figure out what the person looks like
haha i know, how about when your looking at someones profile pics. (facebook) and all you see are pictures of them at a club or a bar. i swear about 95 % of pictures i see they are taking a shot or holding up a drink. ok cool i have a drink too so does everybody else in the same environment at the same time. id like to see some good photography showing some character.
Really? When you see kids in the pic you assume the guys a child molester. Really?
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