Why I Don’t Believe in Free Love (Free Vs. Paid Dating Sites)
When it comes to online dating, there are many routes you can take, but one major option is choosing between a site you pay for or a free site.
The founder of OkCupid recently posted “Why You Should Never Pay for an Online Dating Site” on his blog. And I loved this article. I thought it made so much sense. It uses numbers to explain why Match.com is full of BS and actually doesn’t lead to a lot of relationships or marriages; he argues that people not finding love keeps sites like this in business.
I knew he had a point, so I had to ask myself … Why do I keep paying for online dating?
And I realized that, just like many times a girl wants to be taken to dinner before she takes off her pants, I like that a guy has to pay to show his interest.
Now, at the risk of sounding like a gold-digging narcissistic biatch, let me explain: I’m a cute 24-year-old girl. From what I know about online dating through personal experience and from talking to other guys my age who use it, I know that I have a huge advantage. Most PYTs get tons of winks and e-mails from guys and they often get a little overwhelmed by the attention. But on Match.com, at least guys have to be a paid member to e-mail a girl … which cuts back on the attention slightly.
The other reason I prefer paid sites is because, like many PYTs, I’m kind of sick of guys just trying to hook up with me. I figure that a good way to meet guys who actually want a girlfriend is to use an online dating site. Now, this isn’t always the case – we’ve already seen that Match.com is a little more tailored to booty calls than eHarmony. But I assume that by paying to be on an online dating site, a guy is a little more interested in actually going out with the girl he meets there. Sure, he might see the $30/month fee as cheaper and more efficient than seeking out booty calls at the bar each weekend. But I just worry that if I go on a free site, I’ll get bombarded with e-mails from guys who aren’t seeking anything more than a one-night stand. There are a lot of creeps out there, and for me, the fact that guys have to pay to subscribe has been my filter of choice.
And it’s not like I’m just saying I want a guy who is willing to drop cash. I’m dropping cash to be there, too! But I only drop cash when I have the time and energy to invest in dating, when I really do want to meet someone. And I hope that the guys who whip out their plastic have used the same thought process. Because the only time I can see myself using a free site is if I just want to hit it and quit it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to think that guys might feel the same.
Comment below: How do you feel about free online dating sites?