Consider whether or not you want to let dates know – right off the bat – that you do, in fact, write about dating. First of all, you have to think about how it will affect you. If you do inform your love interest, there is a chance that he’ll back out of the date (and in turn, the potential relationship) before it even happens. But in the best case scenario, he’ll think it’s interesting and will want to check out what you’ve been writing.

This, however, is where things get tricky, because you need to decide what you want prospective dates to know about you before you get the chance to tell them. Do you really want him to know about how many people you’ve been out with in the past few months? Does she really need to hear about your last ex that you’re still carrying a flame (or a torch) for? Even if those things don’t bother your date, they’re going to figure out – or at least think they’ve figured out – how you operate when it comes to dating. She may find out that you seem to keep dating tall blondes, which might make her insecure if she’s a five-foot-tall red head. He might discover that you judged the last guy on his poor shoe choice, and he might (rightfully) think you’re a little bit shallow. The point is, whatever you say – and whatever they read – will affect how they think you approach dating and relationships.

Now, should you choose to keep your online record of your dating exploits a secret from them, it’s important to realize that this is no guarantee that your date still won’t find out about your blog. Google searches can be pretty thorough these days, so they might find you out anyway. And in that case, one might wonder if you were trying to hide it – which brings up trust and honesty issues before you even start the relationship. If you don’t want to tell your date right away, at least plan on giving them a heads up a few dates in (assuming all is going well) to avoid this situation.

Another item to consider is whether what your dates read about on your blog will change how they act when you go out. If he knows ahead of time that your pet peeve is a guy who laughs too loud, will he stay serious the entire date to avoid running into something that annoys you? Will she decide to refrain from telling you that her favorite artist of the moment is Lil Wayne because you mentioned online that you can’t stand it when a girl listens to nothing but Top 40? Will your date be completely self-conscious the entire time, wondering if they’ll become fodder for your blog?

Dating blogs can be a great way to get your writing out there and retell all of those stories about the hilarities of being single, but be forewarned that telling too much just might keep you single.

Related:

• Dealing with Unwanted Blog Reader Crushes
• Crushing on a High-Profile Blogger: For the Love of Commenting
• Slandering your ex on your personal blog

However, flirty comments from strangers might make you particularly uncomfortable. It’s best to set some boundaries to ensure your readers know if you don’t want the attention. If you are dating someone, you can easily make that information known in a post or your blogging profile. Under absolutely no circumstances should you post your personal address or phone number. (That’s just crazy and invites trouble from other crazy readers.)

Of course, there will always be those persistent few who never get the hint and keep posting subtle comments about dinner or even seeing you in your birthday suit. Talk about tasteless. You can always delete an inappropriate comment (your blog, your rules). Also, some blogging platforms have filters that enable you to automatically delete (or cue up for moderation) comments based on a user’s email or IP address.

Unfortunately, IP addresses don’t mean squat when your “fan” can leave a comment from any library computer, or through a web proxy. Avatars are created with dummy email accounts all the time, just to keep admins off one’s scent.

If your standard filters and your relationship status aren’t getting through to the reader who refuses to stop posting lewd comments on your blog, then you may want to take more drastic measures. First, block all their comments – manually, if you have to. Then, completely ignore them, which will hopefully cause them to lose interest and find another writer to pester. And if they still persist, tell them straight up: I’m not interested, and this needs to stop.

Your last resort – taken at your own risk – is to lure them into a trap if they refuse to take no for an answer. If they have a valid email address, contact them directly and try to sound friendly. Once you have their personal information, threaten to contact the authorities. Antagonizing them and scaring them off may be your only recourse sometimes, so if you’ve had enough of their badgering, don’t be afraid to call them out.

Nerve has performed some remodeling on their site in order to spruce up their design as well as better organize the format of their features and recurring columns. Everyone knows about the saucy confessionals in Dan Savage’s Savage Love and the modern dating advice column Miss Information, where Erin Bradley responds to questions with the recommended dose of sexual reality. Nerve editors also publish reviews of the most erotic indie films, as well as personal essays and fiction that awaken feelings of lust and tenderness in readers around the world.

Obviously, Nerve fans are sexually active to some degree, flirting with other intelligent, sexually open individuals in the personals section, and that’s the primary reason why the editors have added some exciting new features that allow readers to actually respond to articles. Comments now appear on the article pages where other readers can respond and even check each other out in passing.

Nerve visitors can submit their own stories within either Dating Confessions (where anyone can declare their reckless pursuits and flirtatious disasters) or My First Time (where virgins in the areas of sex, dating, flirting, and whatever else you can imagine may submit their funny and moving adventures). Additionally, the editors have even introduced a new blog called Tools of Attraction, which reviews modern products for sexier living while culling honest feedback from readers.

The Rundown: Long story short, the Nerve editors and writers have created (and continue to create) a magazine with content that not only explores our wild sides, but also provides a supportive community of twenty-something readers who can connect on all the levels that are relevant to our budding generation.

Comment below: What’s your opinion of Nerve.com? What columns are your favorite and why?

Related posts:

• Let’s tweet up: Twitter dating sites

• Flirtexting: Interview with Deb & Liv, the Textperts
• Lull in the Conversation? Send a Text to ChaCha

But that’s understandable nowadays. As blogs and tweets become commonplace communication, it’s no wonder we start jonesing for the people behind the digital curtains we’re meant to pay no attention to. First off, they’re a mystery. Who the hell is this writer who can make you laugh? Who is this wordsmith who posts the things that make you go ooh? Secondly, you’re bonding over something you both love, be it obscure genres of music, books on tape, or your shared love for throat singing. Whatever your poison, all you know is that you never miss a post. Never!

Here’s the rub though: tracking down your blogger crush may turn you into an online stalker, which could not only destroy the blog itself but also ruin your chances for a real live meeting, oh my. Nobody wants to become a stalker after all. So how does one introduce themselves to an idolized blogger, turn the digital tables, and hopefully seduce the person behind the scenes, all without coming off like a complete and utter (and desperate) sleazebag or nut job?

• Comments are a start. Try engaging your blogger on their level. If you have something interesting to say or a powerful reaction to something relevant from their post, by all means respond by leaving a comment. Bloggers appreciate comments, not only because they bring them more traffic, but because they show loyalty and smarts to match, two particularly attractive traits, mind you. Whatever you do, don’t flatter your blog crush ceaselessly or pander to them like groupies. They’ll only ignore your mindless flattery and probably delete your comments anyway. Who would want an emoticon ruining their serious blog?

• You can always offer assistance, too. Bloggers will oftentimes provide email addresses where you can reach them. A simple introduction and some specific details about how you think you could help the blog might hold some serious weight when it comes to their opinion of you. They might even suggest a meeting to discuss some of your suggestions. You should probably avoid the ditsy teenage language and abbreviations (OMG, WTF, LOL, LMAO) in the beginning, at least. Words are powerful, and if you choose the ones that make you sound like an idiot, then guess what? They’ll think you’re an idiot.

Remember, the blogject of your desire might be spread thin, what with the thousands of visitors and comments left each day, so don’t get worried if they don’t respond immediately. Even bloggers have lives, you know. Naturally, you want to stand out among the rest, and you want develop a more personal connection with your blog-throb, so what’s a reader to do?

Really, you have two options: either (1) go for the gold and simply send them a message saying how much you dig their blog and how you would like to get a drink sometime, or (2) slowly play your hand, ask a few questions about how they got into blogging or how they know so much about whatever, and eventually suggest a meeting somewhere nice and public. Transitioning from the online to the real world is awkward and jilted most times anyway, so try to keep an open mind. But who knows? Blogic clearly dictates that two like-minded individuals attract each other, so you may be in store for a hot collision in the near future.

Related post: Slandering your ex on your personal blog

Maybe you want to get this bitterness out of your system, and truth be told, you may have many justifiable grievances. Perhaps he cheated on you with another woman, or she belittled you in front of your closest friends — but try to remember that you’re no longer dating. There’s no need to win this fight, because it’s already over. Your online negative campaign is a waste of your precious energy.

Naturally, you want your ex to suffer. Filled with adrenaline and hopped up on your newfound freedom, you’re tempted to furiously peck at your laptop and reveal the horrible stories that led to your infamous breakup. You secretly hope that your ex reads your scathing remarks about their starving libido or that they’ll find out you’re dating someone new.

Reasons to Not Press POST

Blogs have become powerful tools for the dissemination of information and opinions to people around the world, and abusing this beautiful instrument of communication will only serve to taint your reputation down the line. By posting that blog entry, you’ll only give your ex the justification they need to plead innocence to their friends (and your friends, too). “Just read their blog,” they could say, “and you’ll understand why I finally called it quits.”

[ad]And think about your readers. Your intimate jabs and jaded posts will likely incite them to respond with similar below-the-belt comments. They may call you psycho or prudish or god forbid unattractive, with the intent to goad you further into your self-sabotaging diatribes as they giggle from the sidelines.

Also consider the future repercussions of your blogging slander. Do you really want to ruin a cosmic connection with a new love interest because they google your name and uncover your insane tirade about some guy or girl you dated for a few months?

Face it … even if you’re publishing under a pseudonym and change the name of your ex, someone in your circle will inevitably stumble upon your blog, and then you’re really screwed. Or rather, you may never be screwed again once everyone in town discovers how much you enjoy bashing your exes behind their backs. A few scathing remarks may make you feel great for a hour, but when people in your little universe start to gossip and you notice a former friend giggling at you from the other side of the bar, see how great you feel then!

If you must blog, do it with some style. Talk about your own feelings instead of sticking it to your ex. If you’re writing while in the midst of fury and resentment, save your post as a draft and read it over a day later. Even if your former partner screwed you over royally, what will really disturb them is a lack of response. Cyber-slander won’t win your ex back, if they’re even worth a second chance. And why would you blog about them if they’re not?