However, it does happen that somewhere along the line, you might want to actually gain them back as a Facebook friend. While it’s pretty obvious how you would go about re-friending an ex, the real question is going to be why do you want to? And is it really a good idea, considering your reason?

You’re re-friending an ex in order to…

Check up on the ex

Many times, curiosity gets the best of us, and we really just have to know if our former flame is dating someone else or is even still in the same state as we are. Did he gain weight? Did she lose her job? Who’s writing on his wall?! While it might drive you crazy not to know what’s going on in his or her life, it will probably make you even more batty knowing what he or she is up to. In this case, if you’re just being nosy, and have no interest in getting back together with the ex, leave this one alone. Even if you hit the re-friend button, the other party in the past relationship might suspect something is up and deny your friend request anyway. Which will probably just take those crazy levels up another notch.

Let them see you and what you’re doing

If this is your motivation, I suspect life is going pretty well for you. And this is your way of gloating and saying, “Look how well I’m doing and how hot I’ve gotten since we broke up.” Frankly, probably not the most mature reason for trying to reconnect with an ex on Facebook, but I’m not here to judge. If this happens to be your logic, then consider why you want them to know you’re living life – post-relationship – to the fullest. Were you insecure about something when you were with her? Are you actually trying to make him want you back? Be honest with yourself on this one, and then decide whether or not re-friending the guy you recently referred to as your “psycho ex-boyfriend” is such a good idea.

Show that you’ve made amends

This is one intention I won’t argue with, because it’s actually a pretty good one. You’ve moved on, but you also want to show that you haven’t burned that bridge. Or if you have, you wouldn’t mind rebuilding it. Maybe you realize that you ended the relationship a bit dramatically, or that you flung some harsh words you didn’t mean, and having that person in your life wouldn’t be such a bad thing. As long as making amends doesn’t truly mean ‘stealing him back from the bitch he’s dating now,’ then, with this reason, you’re in the clear.

Just like any other way you might reconnect with an ex, consider seriously why you want to re-friend the old boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook. If it’s with the best intentions, go for it. If not … well, again, there’s always de-friending.

Comment below: Have you re-friended an ex?

More Articles on Facebook and Your Ex:

• Keeping It Cool With an Ex on Facebook
• Let’s Not Be Friends: Facebook Ex Etiquette
• When Is It OK to Block or Defriend a Guy?
• Hate Reading Your Ex’s Facebook Wall? Learn How to STOP.
• Breaking up (on Facebook) is hard to do
• Facebook revenge: Announcing your breakup and blocking your ex

The founder of OkCupid recently posted “Why You Should Never Pay for an Online Dating Site” on his blog. And I loved this article. I thought it made so much sense. It uses numbers to explain why Match.com is full of BS and actually doesn’t lead to a lot of relationships or marriages; he argues that people not finding love keeps sites like this in business.

I knew he had a point, so I had to ask myself … Why do I keep paying for online dating?

And I realized that, just like many times a girl wants to be taken to dinner before she takes off her pants, I like that a guy has to pay to show his interest.

Now, at the risk of sounding like a gold-digging narcissistic biatch, let me explain: I’m a cute 24-year-old girl. From what I know about online dating through personal experience and from talking to other guys my age who use it, I know that I have a huge advantage. Most PYTs get tons of winks and e-mails from guys and they often get a little overwhelmed by the attention. But on Match.com, at least guys have to be a paid member to e-mail a girl … which cuts back on the attention slightly.

The other reason I prefer paid sites is because, like many PYTs, I’m kind of sick of guys just trying to hook up with me. I figure that a good way to meet guys who actually want a girlfriend is to use an online dating site. Now, this isn’t always the case – we’ve already seen that Match.com is a little more tailored to booty calls than eHarmony. But I assume that by paying to be on an online dating site, a guy is a little more interested in actually going out with the girl he meets there. Sure, he might see the $30/month fee as cheaper and more efficient than seeking out booty calls at the bar each weekend. But I just worry that if I go on a free site, I’ll get bombarded with e-mails from guys who aren’t seeking anything more than a one-night stand. There are a lot of creeps out there, and for me, the fact that guys have to pay to subscribe has been my filter of choice.

And it’s not like I’m just saying I want a guy who is willing to drop cash. I’m dropping cash to be there, too! But I only drop cash when I have the time and energy to invest in dating, when I really do want to meet someone. And I hope that the guys who whip out their plastic have used the same thought process. Because the only time I can see myself using a free site is if I just want to hit it and quit it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to think that guys might feel the same.

Comment below: How do you feel about free online dating sites?

Our friends over at BadOnlineDates want to hear your worst dating stories. And they’re holding a contest with prizes – a $50 gift card, a “Worst Date Ever” T-shirt – to motivate you to participate! All you need to do is register an account with them and blog about it by June 1. Read the full details.

Be sure to tell them we sent you!