If you’re ready to take the plunge though, there are certain things to be careful of. When replying to an NSA ad, make sure to include all the information the poster wants, which is most often: age, weight and a recent photograph. But make sure you get at least that in return. Avoid posters who do not reciprocate photos, because they’re usually not serious or they’re not showing their picture for a reason. Avoid virgins and people asking for anything material in return – that’s the opposite of NSA. Try not to be too picky or worried about things like body-type or looks – you’re most likely never going to see this person again. Just make sure they’re down to get down and do exactly what you both want to do. If you’re too choosy, you’re never going to find the right (now) person.

Always make sure to trade phone numbers or screen names and keep the conversation to a minimum. Discuss only important things, like where you’re going to meet, where you’re going to do it and where you want to put it. Make sure the meeting place is in a public location. And because photos were traded, you should have no problem finding the person. Be weary of meeting up at someone’s house or in their hotel or motel room for safety reasons – you can never be too careful. Once you meet, if you’re ready to get down, then get to it. Make sure to drive separate cars, for a quick getaway in case things go awry, and head to whatever location you discussed earlier.

Now, do the deed. Avoid the nervous chatter and discussion, you both know why you’re there. Don’t stick to a strict script, make sure you feel comfortable with whatever’s going down – whether it be more or less than you discussed. Use protection, of course, because there’s nothing worse than getting the clap from someone from the list. Most importantly enjoy yourself! Sex almost always comes with strings attached – at least in one of the people’s minds. NSA sex is the perfect way to just get yours.

After it’s over, it’s up to the both of you whether you want to make the jump from NSA to FB (fuck buddy). If he or she doesn’t, don’t be hurt, that’s just he nature of NSA. Zip up your pants, tuck your underwear in your pocket and head out the door, deleting their number out of your phone on the way out.

Related:

• Casual Encounters: Strangers Connecting on Craigslist
• How to Respond to a Casual Encounters Personal Ad on Craigslist
• How to Find Sex Online (Without Being Slimy)

But now comes the tricky part if you want these late-night rendezvous to continue – do you Facebook friend him? While you may feel like you know him well enough now (at least in the Biblical sense), thinking about the pros and cons of becoming his online friend before you hit that “Add as Friend” button might not be such a bad idea.

A few things to consider if you become Facebook friends:

You can get an idea of his social calendar, including what he’s doing this weekend and what he did – besides you – last weekend.

• Pro: From whatever status updates and wall posts he has on his profile, you’ll be able to tell if he’ll be around or busy for the weekend. If you already know he’ll be out on Saturday, this gives you the perfect opportunity to text him again to see if he’s up for a repeat performance.
• Con: You may not want to find out about his entire social life, namely if it includes other females vying for – and gaining – his attention. Even if you aren’t interested in actually dating said booty call, seeing another girl write on his wall is going make you turn at least a slight shade of envious green. Was he out with her before he met up with you? Is that other girl going to be at the bar with him Saturday? Are you going to drive yourself crazy just by looking at his wall?

You can stay in contact, and you now have another way to communicate with him besides texting or calling.

• Pro: You can shoot him a quick message or post something on his wall, letting him know what you might be up to this weekend. It might even give him the hint that he should probably send you a text at 1 am.
• Con: Things start to get tricky anytime you communicate via technology in any form other than actually speaking. You got your message across the first time via text, but add lengthier-than-necessary messages and coy wall posts in, and something is likely to be lost in translation. If you really want to make a point over Facebook, be as clear as possible.

He can get a glimpse into your social life – what you’re up to, which guys are writing on your wall, and who you’re hanging out with on the weekends.

• Pro: If he’s anything like you, he’ll use Facebook as a tool to figure out what you’re doing to see if an encore of the previous weekend is possible. And he’ll most likely look at your wall to see if you have any other potential suitors. If you do – and if he has a little jealous streak – becoming Facebook friends could definitely work in your favor.
• Con: If he sees that you’re going out with too many guys and way too many are posting, “Had a great time last night” on your wall, then you might not exactly be sending the right message. He might not mind being just a booty call, but he probably doesn’t want to be one of ten.

Facebooking a booty call can be a double-edged sword, so think hard before you hit “Request.” But then again – there’s always defriending.

Related posts:

• How to Write a Status Update to Keep Him Interested
• Facebook Flirting: A Guide to Pokes, Wall Posts and Private Messages
• Your Facebook relationship status: What isn’t “complicated”?

First, watch some real porn, preferably with a partner around. You need to be comfortable with the whole watching-people-have-sex-on-camera thing. If the close-up shots make you cringe, consider your motives. Are you trying to make your boyfriend happy, or is this something you really want to do?

Ease into it with some sexy pictures. Start with still photos you snap of yourself (from the neck down to be safe). You don’t have to show anyone. It’s just a way to test your confidence. If you can handle the pics, you may want to take a little video of yourself, too. Use your webcam to make a home movie of yourself in the shower or doing a striptease. When the realities of harsh lighting and lack of airbrushing set in, you may realize you don’t want to see yourself on tape. But if you kinda get turned on, you’re probably OK to bring a partner into the mix.

Your potential partner is one of the most important aspects of deciding whether or not to make an X-rated video. You need to do it with someone who won’t judge you later down the line. Making a tape with a booty call might be a better idea than making a tape with the future father of your children. The fact is, there may come a point in your life when you want to forget about your wild ways, and you need to be sure the guy can do the same. While it’s important to trust your partner, making a sex tape in a relationship with intense feelings involved may backfire. If your serious boyfriend has a jealous streak, is he going to spread the word of your tape when you break up? It might be safer to make the tape with a hot but emotionally unattached guy, who, when all is said and done, won’t really care that you did something taboo.

And the hot, emotionally unattached guys are the ones who are most often tape-worthy lays! Sure, the future father of your children may be cute and you may really like to make love to each other, but last time I checked, sex tapes were for talking dirty and banging out in all kinds of crazy ways. (As long as they make you look skinny on camera, of course.)

No matter how much you trust your partner, though, you need to protect yourself. First, for all sexy images and videos, you should have a separate memory card that you have control of at all times. Keep everything saved on a flash drive you keep in a very secure location – after all, you don’t want him e-mailing himself the video from your computer while you’re in the shower. You may be tempted to show your friends, but it’s just too easy for e-mails to be forwarded, so all viewing should take place on your computer. And while crazy banging is good, the kinky stuff is what makes for a juicy “OMG did you hear about this?!” video that may go viral in your circle of friends. Sure, it’s called a “sex tape,” but stripteases and, well, doing things besides sex (we’ll leave it at that) are totally OK. If you can avoid getting your face on camera a whole lot, that will also enable you to deny, deny, deny if necessary! However, if you have a distinguishing birthmark on your back, and you keep shouting “Say my name!” on camera … well, good luck with that.

If you feel comfortable on camera and have a good partner, a tape can ultimately be good for you. It can make you feel confident and sexy and give your sex life a boost. But play it smart, and for God’s sake, don’t tweet about it.

(Originally found at Daily Dating Advice via @badonlinedates.)

The main objective should be to let him know you enjoyed yourself and that you know where you stand. It’s good to give a guy an ego boost and not completely ignore him after a hook-up, but if you’re too clingy, you will be seen as “that girl.” He shouldn’t wonder if you’re trying to get a date out of the deal.

First, plan on texting or BBMing him. A Facebook message or a phone call is way too formal and will freak most guys out out. Play it safe and stick with your cell.

This is a situation where timing is everything. If you spent the night, wait until the next night to send a text. Don’t be overeager; wait until 8 or 9 P.M. This is the time of night when everyone is browsing Facebook and thinking about sex (past, present, future). You want to be on his mind during prime time. If you didn’t spend the night (look at you, Miss Hit It and Quit It!) then you can text or BBM him the morning after the hook-up. Even though you aren’t the cuddling type, you want him to think of you while he’s still in his boxers. First thing in the morning, guys tend to think of sex (past, present, and future).

So, what to say? First, it’s always good to show a little appreciation. If you’re new to this, and the four-letter words don’t feel right just yet, be vague when you reference the activities of the previous night. “Glad you texted me last night” or “Glad we could meet up last night” is a good start, followed by “Had so much fun!” Short and to the point.

If you get down-and-dirty with this person regularly, you can be a little more explicit. “So glad you called last night. I think my legs are still shaking!” Smiley face. You want to reference the hot, hot sex; this lets him know you’re ready for the next round whenever he is.

You can also make a joke to let him know you don’t take late-night booty calls too seriously. Start with, “Had so much fun last night….” followed by, “Did NOT know you were that bendy!” or “Can’t believe we broke the fish tank!” or “Well, now we know what you mean when you ask me to ‘study’!” A joke can add a little intimacy and make things much easier next time. (Now all he has to do is text you and ask you to study!) A word of caution: if you aren’t naturally funny, get a friend’s approval. Text humor is tricky.

You may be tempted to make a reference to alcohol – do not do this! Even if you were a waste case, it’s not good to give the impression that you are a drunken floozy. It also makes it sound like you regret it or are trying to justify everything you did.

He will likely respond, but his response isn’t super important. It will likely contain an emoticon or “LOL.” That’s just how guys are. Whatever he says, try not to read into it. You don’t want to have an extended conversation or make future plans. If what he says definitely requires a response, go ahead and write back, but if you don’t have to, then, well, don’t. He now knows you want to bang again. Leave it at that.

And leave it at that for at least a week. It can be tough, and you’re probably going to get tempted in a few days when you have too much wine at happy hour, but seriously … leave it alone. Booty calls need to stay few and far between, especially at first. A weekly booty call starts to feel like a date, and, well, if you wanted to date, you shouldn’t have gone to his place at 1 A.M.

Just send a text to insure that you’re on good terms and that you have officially talked to him when you aren’t trying to get ass. Even though the next time you talk to him will definitely be to get ass, guys don’t always like to be treated like the pieces of meat that they are. But get the first text right, and you will be getting it all right for many nights to come.

Related posts:

• How to Train Him To Stop Sending Late Night Booty Texts

• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting
• BBM Flirting: How to Text Using Blackberry Messenger

There are also a lot of things to hate about it. If you really like a guy and he seems to like you mainly after dark, it’s easy to get annoyed. “A drunk guy wants me,” you think. “BFD.”

If he only texts you for booty, it might be time to stop planning the wedding. It hurts to admit that, but it’s better you do it before things get more involved. However, if you are dating or in a relationship, you can demand to be treated like the lady instead of the tramp.

Here are some tricks for redirecting his texting:

First, try not responding right away. You might be sitting at home thinking about how badly you want to do him, but it’s important to give the impression that you can resist. Late night booty call? Me? Well, I never…

Respond the next morning, and keep it light. You aren’t rejecting him; you’re rejecting the LNBT. “Hey! Would still love to hang out … what are you up to today?” With this, you’re sending a strong message: I want you, but sober, with advance notice.

It might take a few rejections for him to get the hint, but soon enough he should realize that his late-night texts are futile. He’s a smart boy; he’ll make the connection between getting some and legit plans. Within a few weeks, he should start planning accordingly and try to hang out earlier.

If he’s ballsy, he may call you out on why you didn’t respond to him or what you were doing. If you were out, just say, “Oh, my girl friends and I have a rule not to check our phones when we’re out together!” Make him feel like texting non-stop when at the bar is boring and lame. If you were being boring and lame and weren’t actually out, just say, “Hey, a girl’s gotta sleep!” The important thing is to set a standard that you aren’t attached to your phone at all times, waiting for him to give you attention.

If that doesn’t work, you may need to respond directly to the LNBT as soon as you get it. Again, keep it light. “Hey you. Can’t tonight, but would love to see you! What are you up to tomorrow?” Again, get him to make plans.

Don’t get caught up in giving him a “good excuse.” You don’t need to give an excuse. He’s welcome to ask, and if he does, just keep it broad and reference the time. “It’s getting late.” “Ah, wish you would have said something earlier.” “Past my bedtime.” He needs to realize that you’re a busy girl and you need to know more than 15 minutes in advance if you’re going to get down and dirty.

Sometimes you might find yourself just downright annoyed. You’re mid-dream, cozy in your jammies, and the oh-so-familiar text comes. If you’ve got a bitchy side, let her out. “Wow, is it last call already? I love how your booty call texts are so dependable!” Calling him out — and calling a LNBT for what it is — might shame him into chilling out. Once you send that message, he’ll probably respond with an “lol” to get a feel for your attitude. Stay strong; you’ve got to let him know you’re serious. “As much as I’d love to see you, I don’t get naked after 1 AM.” “Hey, when the makeup comes off the clothes stay on. Talk tomorrow.” “Sorry, can’t tonight.”

Don’t worry that this will make him think you’re not interested! If he’s any kind of guy worth dating, he will give up on the LNBT but not on you.

Related posts:

• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting

• The Guy’s Guide to Booty Call Texts That Work
• 10 ways to stop drunken texting

Responding to personal ads in Casual Encounters, however, can become a little stressful. Though there’s nothing wrong with scouting out like-minded people who are looking for a casual “friends with benefits” situation, some might feel slightly embarrassed resorting to Craigslist.

When responding to a personal ad, it’s likely you’re trying to make a good impression so that the person reading your response will consider meeting up with you — be it for a friendly date, a romantic evening, or perhaps a mind-blowing sexual encounter. The trick is remembering what (and what not) to include in your response. Follow these tips to establish the credibility and connection necessary to lead to some offline lovin’:

• Attach a photo of your face. However amazing your body is, people are attracted to faces first and foremost, especially when reviewing a person from the safety of their computer. If you don’t provide a clear (and large enough) pic of your face, then the person might think you’re trying to hide something and might just ignore you altogether.

• Clearly state what you’re looking for. The last thing anybody wants is to delve into a drawn-out process of connecting with a stranger only to later find out that you’re both looking for different things from the “relationship.” If you’re just looking for a FWB (Friend With Benefits) because you’re too busy or you just value your freedom, then don’t lead the other person into believing you want more than that.
• Connect with the person you’re e-mailing. In other words, don’t use a canned email to respond to everyone you think might have potential. People want to know that you read their post and that you legitimately believe that you’re a match. Linking your interests and desires to theirs will convince them you’re worth pursuing.
• Don’t sign up for websites. Any ad that asks for a sign-up is a scam, no matter how convincing it sounds. And divulging your credit card information for a chance at hooking up (which is just stupid) can result in disaster.
• Don’t give out your personal information. Just like the poster, you probably want to keep your public life separate from a casual encounter – at least until you’re certain your potential FWB will fit into your group of friends. Nothing’s stranger than having the person you’ve been emailing about a discreet meeting request a friendship on your Facebook account. That said, you may want to consider using a dummy email address until you’re satisfied.
• Don’t let the connection fizzle. Remember, the person you’re emailing is probably getting more than one response, especially if they seem like an interesting, attractive woman (which does happen, trust me). Endless emails can become quite irritating, so once you’re confident you’re interested in meeting, you may want to get a phone number so you can convert your online correspondence to a real, physical possibility.
• Suggest a public, neutral meeting place. Some people just want to hook up and are much more carefree about where they meet (perhaps they’ll even prefer to host at their place for safety reasons), but if you’re trying to arrange a romance or a FWB situation, then you may want to suggest meeting at a bar or coffeehouse for some conversation first.
• All in all, honesty is the best policy. If you’re turning to Casual Encounters for casual sex or exploring fantasies or just good old-fashioned flings, then you shouldn’t hide anything, and neither should they. Miscommunication is not only embarrassing and awkward, but it can lead to some dangerous situations. The great thing about Craigslist is that it gives users the opportunity to pick and choose. Just make sure you’re real when you respond, and make sure they want what you want, and the rest should take care of itself.

Related posts:

• Casual Encounters: Strangers Connecting on Craigslist

• 7 Steps to Writing a Threesome Personal Ad on Craigslist
• Craigslist Casual Encounters Acronyms, Decoded
• How to Find Sex Online (Without Being Slimy)

Look in the Right Places

If you want internet action, you need to go where there’s action happening. If you’re looking for a no-strings-attached (NSA) experience, Craigslist is worth checking out, but it can be labor-intensive to find a good fit. The listings aren’t very search-friendly, and the Casual Encounters section is notorious for attracting crazies and flakes. Thanks to the recent shutdown of the Erotic Services section, there’s also a heavy “professional” contingent spread out across the Craigslist Personals, so make sure you know what you’re getting into when you agree to meet. You can also check out one of the many “Adult Personals” sites that cut straight to the chase. (Google that phrase. You’ll find them.) You’ll encounter tons of frank, sexually explicit content here, which will probably be both handy (“Yay! I already know they’re drug and disease free”) and alarmingly eye-opening (“I didn’t even know erotic falconry existed.”)

If you feel skeevy about going straight to a hookup site, you can check out social networking and online dating sites, but you must remember that, as a straight-up sex-seeker, you are in the minority. Don’t waste your time with online dating sites that charge membership fees — the people there are paying customers who are mostly looking for love, not sex. This makes them less likely to hook up with you, and more likely to complain (and when you’re deleted for trolling, the site isn’t going to refund your membership fees.)  

Be prepared to spend some time separating the wheat from the chaff (and the camgirls from the real girls), but know that directing your efforts to places where sex-seekers congregate is much more likely to pay off than casting about blindly in the hopes that someone will take pity on your poor, undersexed soul.

Approach the Right People

Even if you’re not picky, when it comes right down to it, you probably don’t want “just any” sex. You’re looking for someone you’re at least sort-of attracted to, and (probably) someone with whom you’ll be able to have a civilized post-coital conversation. To that end, scan the profiles of people whose photos interest you and make sure they’re not prudish, taken, or otherwise incompatible with you. This may seem tedious, but focusing your efforts will save you tons of time and increase your odds of success.

Keep an eye peeled for people who have a healthy, unabashed enthusiasm for sex, but who are not consumed or obsessed by it. It may seem counterintuitive to pass up a total nympho, but people who are drawn to sexual extremes are often drawn to other extremes as well, and having a partner who is stable, rational and able to understand boundaries is key for successful NSA encounters. Sex-seeking communities tend to have an unusually large hot-but-crazy contingent, and that’s because sex is very easy to use for validation, distraction, and drama-creation.  Be on the lookout for this when you’re assessing a partner’s potential. A sense of humor, a sense of adventure, and a playful personality are all great attributes for NSA partners, but nothing is more important than “unlikely to set my hair on fire.”

Be Respectful

If you go the social networking/online dating route, make sure you’re seeking only people who are looking for “casual encounters” or “short term relationships.” On these sites, even if people have indicated openness to casual affairs, it’s considered extremely poor form to send sexual propositions in a first e-mail. Don’t do it. Heed this advice especially if you’re wildly horny, since nothing makes people want to sleep with you less than desperation. Introduce yourself to people on these dating/networking sites as you would normally introduce yourself to an attractive stranger: be charming, witty and flirtatious without explaining exactly what you’d like to stick where.  

If you’re talking to people on networking/dating sites rather than a “sex search”/adult personals site, plan on exchanging a minimum of two e-mails before getting explicit about your desires. It’s the tech-age version of the three-date rule. Let the other party decide whether or not they want to get to know you before they have to think about getting to know you biblically. You will get a better response rate, nicer Nos and more Yeses.

If you’re searching on an Adult FriendFinder-type site, or someone has made their desire for NSA sex explicit in their profile, you can be more forward, but make sure they’re looking for the same kind of sex you are. Under no circumstances should you approach someone who has explicitly requested something you are not. He’s not going to respond if he has a redhead kink and you’re blonde.  A dominatrix is not going to thrill at an e-mail from a novice submissive if she wants someone “well-trained.”  And no, that girl who admits to dating men but states in no uncertain terms that she is looking for “only women at this time, NO MEN only women please” will not make an exception for you and your lesbian fantasy. (You, sir, are a jackass, and you are ruining the bi girls for the rest of us.)

Be Honest

Don’t pretend to be looking for Mr. Right if you’re seeking Mr. RightNow. Make it clear in your own profile that you’re looking for something light and casual. You don’t have to mention sex explicitly if you feel like it’ll scare off prospects who might otherwise be interested, but do come clean about your intentions somewhere in the first five to seven e-mails. If you wait any longer, you run the risk of letting them think you want to be their boyfriend when you really just want to be their bedmate.

Broaching the subject of NSA sex can be tricky, but there are lots of ways to do it. It’s always fair to say that you’re just not looking for a committed thing right now. It’s true, direct, and unambiguous. If you have a specific reason for wanting just sex, explain it. (A guy who just tells you he wants sex might seem like a pig, but a guy who’s recently broken up with someone/is moving in a few months/is too busy for a relationship but found you too smoking hot to pass up is somehow more human and less obnoxious.) If you’ve made your intentions clear, but you suspect they still see you as relationship material, you are obligated to make yourself clear again (and again, until the other party “gets it.”) You can be flattering (make sure they know why you contacted them and why you’re attracted to them) but always be direct. Phrases like “friendship,” “casual relationships” and “friends with benefits” are excellent places to start.

Don’t ever misrepresent yourself or lie in the hopes of getting tail — it may seem harmless if you’re planning on it being a one-night thing, but if the sex turns out to be mind-blowing and your partner is willing to make it a weekly no-strings event, you’ll find yourself either saying no to quality nookie or tangled in an increasingly complicated lie. If you have a serious partner (you’re in an open relationship, for instance), you need to inform your prospect, even if you only plan to see them once. If you have an STD, you have to tell them that, too. (Related: if you’re into no-strings sex, and you don’t practice safer sex Every Single Time, do the rest of humanity a favor and refrain from rubbing your fuzzy bits against anyone else’s ever again.)

Be Patient

If you’re looking for sex online, be prepared to be shot down over and over — even if you’re a hottie! Expect some virtual drinks thrown in your face. (Following my advice will minimize that, but you’re still likely to misread someone somewhere along the way, and they may end up angry or offended. ). As in the real world, sealing the deal can be both difficult and time-consuming, but perseverance and a little judgment go a long way. By seeking out appropriate matches who have the same desires you do and showing them that you’re an honest, respectful, decent human being, you’re putting yourself in the best possible position, because you’re acting like someone they might actually want to have sex with.

And that, my friends, is how you get laid online.

Related posts:

• 7 Steps to Writing a Threesome Personal Ad on Craigslist
• Casual Encounters: Strangers Connecting on Craigslist
• Craigslist Casual Encounters Acronyms, Decoded

And maybe you’re one of these many people who have a genuine desire to participate in a threesome, whether with two men or two women. But you don’t want to get caught with your pants down — at least not unexpectedly, that is. The question remains: how can you write a personal ad that captures what exactly you want for your threesome?

1. Talk to your partner about the mánage à trois. If you have an open marriage or you’re dating someone who might want to arrange a threesome as well, you have to discuss the specifics. Is she comfortable with another woman? What are his boundaries if another man is participating? Would either of you want to share this experience with the same person on more than one occasion? And what type of person would you both prefer? One who’s dominant, or submissive? One who has a similar mentality about music, movies, and books? Or maybe one who is radically different from the friends you’re used to?

2. Draft a personal ad that gets to the point. Include all the criteria you’re looking for in a man or woman. Who knows what kind of responses you’ll get from some general ad that just says you’re looking for a third person to join? Here’s your chance to be as specific as you want. Of course, maybe some things (like hair color, for example) are not as important as others (like body type), but you can always write those details and their importance in the overall scheme of things into your post. Once you and your partner have settled on a draft you’re both comfortable with, now you can post.
3. Post your personal ad in the correct area. Most times, people looking for a threesome will want to submit their ad to Casual Encounters or maybe Misc Romance, and you shouldn’t have trouble culling responses from people browsing those groups. But if you inadvertently post your ad within one of the other groups, then individuals who may be a perfect match for you and your partner may never find you. These areas within Craigslist help everyone find what they’re seeking, so be sure to understand where you’re posting your ad when you finally submit yours.
4. Make your preferences work for you. Craigslist gives you some key options when you’re posting your threesome ad in Casual Encounters. First, you’ll need to select the type of threesome you want (e.g., w4mm, m4ww, ww4m, mm4m, ww4w, mm4w, mw4m, or mw4w). Make sure you select the one that’s most appropriate for your situation, or else you’re bound to get responses from people who are looking for something completely different. Plus, your ad might even get flagged (and taken down) if you irritate people by advertising a desire that isn’t accurate, so be careful.
5. Select your location. More often than not, you’ll want to host the threesome just to feel safer; then, you should obviously select your city or town of residence. If you’re okay with people traveling, then you may want to consider posting in a populated area or major city that’s nearby. However, you can post in a different area, and you can always write in your location and your preference to host in the location field.
6. Make every word of your headline count. As people looking to participate in a threesome scroll through the many options within Casual Encounters, you want to pique the interest of the ones who are most likely the best fit for your situation. That’s why it’s important to cram as much of the pertinent information into your headline as possible. Maybe you are a punk-rock-loving married couple looking for a one-time-only threesome with an attractive, smart, bisexual woman in her mid-twenties. Then, you should definitely squeeze as much of that information as you can into your heading. Or maybe you’re a voyeur just looking to watch a couple get down and dirty. Your heading should say it all.
7. Be honest about your age. If you’re thirty-five and your partner is twenty-seven, make sure readers know this about the both of you. It’s always smart to include your ages in your personal ad to avoid confusion. However, Craigslist does give you the option to insert your age with your headline and location, but this can be tricky when there are two individuals submitting the post. The best approach is always the simplest, though. You can either average your ages, or insert both with a comma or slash between the two.

Bear in mind that you should only post if you’re serious about arranging a threesome, and you should expect to get as many inappropriate responses as you do interesting ones, so be careful. As long as you’ve included all the information about yourselves and who exactly you’re looking for in your personal ad, however, you should definitely hear from a few genuine, sexually-compatible individuals who might be perfect for the situation.

Not everyone is truthful about their promiscuous habits with the people they’re supposedly dating. Go figure — people still lie about cheating, especially now that online communities have made the game that much easier to play. Without so much as a whisper of the transgression — the evidence lost in deleted emails and erased text messages — anyone can now start a steamy profile and check the box marked, “discreet relationship.” Just think about how often NSA appears on Craigslist nowadays. And what about our password-protected emails and accounts? All you have to do is clear your private data, and your boyfriend or girlfriend will be none the wiser.

Now perhaps more than ever before, sexual secrecy has become the cornerstone of many social networks and online dating communities — fling.com and xtube.com [NSFW], just to name a few. That said, as we transfer our lives online and live out fantasies in the digital world, how can we tell if our better halves are stepping out for a little play on the side? Essentially, what are some of the telltale signs your lover is using the internet to meet, greet, and heat up the sheets with another person other than yourself?

• Are they chatting online when you’re around? Chronic chatting when you’re actually in the room could be just another way of neglecting you, because they might busy laying the groundwork for a discreet encounter with another person. True, everyone chats online these days, but when partners close or minimize chat windows when you come close, that’s a good indication they’re up to something they don’t want you to know about.

• Are they obsessed with deleting their text messages? Text messages can include some pretty risqué language and leave a trail of breadcrumbs leading right to a motel with a do-not-disturb sign hanging on the doorknob. If your lover is deleting their messages constantly, then you can be relatively sure it’s not because they want to save room on their phone for more pictures of the two of you together.
• Do they close emails whenever you show up? Like chats, emails can really reveal the true intentions of a person. Unlike chats, however, emails are much more pointed, and the questions are much more focused. When and where do you want to meet? Does your husband suspect anything? Would you like to see some more x-rated photos or what? Who knows what other details and photos a lover could send to their partner in crime?
• Do they keep their digital life separate from you? Almost everyone these days leads a double life — there’s the life where we venture out to the bar, attend matinees, and cook dinner at home; and then there’s the life we lead online, where anyone can flirt, exchange photos, and arrange an erotic rendezvous. If your partner isn’t sharing his online behavior and comments with you — some even block their girlfriends or boyfriends from seeing their Facebook comments — then that should definitely send up some red flags.
• Are they deleting their online history? “Where have you been?” a disgruntled lover may ask when you come home late, but shouldn’t we be able to ask the same question about each other’s online lives? If you use your lover’s computer from time to time and you find that there’s absolutely no history to speak of, then you might wonder if they’ve been signing in to their adult networks to keep up with some saucy communications.
• Are they hesitant to let you use their phone? Phones record almost everything — sent and received text messages, outgoing and incoming calls — and you never know when a steamy sext from your booty call could arrive. If your partner is extremely hesitant about loaning you their phone, even if only for a few minutes, then you might wonder if they’re afraid that you’ll see something they’ve previously kept hidden from you.

Really, there’s no way to know for certain whether or not your lover is cheating on you without confronting them. A strange email could just be some questionable spam in their inbox, and flirty chats with old flames may just be harmless fun. Nothing short of a confession (or catching them in the act) will prove that they’re guilty. But if your lover is going to extremes to mask their online (and offline) behavior, you should go with your instincts and either ask them about their suspicious behavior or at least tell them that it bothers you. Technology may make covering a cheater’s tracks easier, but always remember that nobody can hide forever, not even in the digital world.

Comment below: How did you find out that your lover was cheating?

Related: How to Tell If He’s a Cheater on an Online Dating Site