10. My friends and I are going out for a big Mexican dinner. Can I stop by after? Steer clear of ever mentioning your grande order of beans and cheese; he’ll likely be mucho turned off.

9. Wanna have a sleepover? Most guys have been tricked into a night of cuddling this way, so you better make it clear you’re not interested in sleeping.

8. I wanna get you in the back seat, windows up, that’s the way I like to f*ck!!! When you can’t think of anything else to say, don’t turn to the lyrics of the rap song blasting at the club you’re in.

7. I neeeeed to see you tonight. I promise I’ll make it worth your time! Try to be a little more Debbie Does Dallas and a little less Debbie Does Desperation.

6. You can just come over here to watch the game! If you don’t know a thing about football and are just planning to tackle him when he walks in the door, he’ll be annoyed he ditched his friends.

5. I want to pole dance … you come over and bring the pole. An actual text suggested by Cosmo. Sorry, but we beg to differ until you find a guy who can read that without LOL-ing.

4. OMG drnuk to much. Get ovr here b4 I puke. We’ve already talked about slurring your texts, but this takes it to a whole new level.

3. I’m all alone waiting for you. Come over and bring a friend. Whoa, there, sister! You can’t just propose a threesome via text message.

2. I’m naked and cooking bacon for you. The way to a man’s heart might be through his stomach, but that’s just way too much pork.

1. My boyfriend just left but I’m still horny. Want to come over? TMI! At least have the decency to take a shower and pretend he’s not getting sloppy seconds.

What’s the worst LNBT you’ve ever sent or received?

(Originally found at Daily Dating Advice via @badonlinedates.)

The main objective should be to let him know you enjoyed yourself and that you know where you stand. It’s good to give a guy an ego boost and not completely ignore him after a hook-up, but if you’re too clingy, you will be seen as “that girl.” He shouldn’t wonder if you’re trying to get a date out of the deal.

First, plan on texting or BBMing him. A Facebook message or a phone call is way too formal and will freak most guys out out. Play it safe and stick with your cell.

This is a situation where timing is everything. If you spent the night, wait until the next night to send a text. Don’t be overeager; wait until 8 or 9 P.M. This is the time of night when everyone is browsing Facebook and thinking about sex (past, present, future). You want to be on his mind during prime time. If you didn’t spend the night (look at you, Miss Hit It and Quit It!) then you can text or BBM him the morning after the hook-up. Even though you aren’t the cuddling type, you want him to think of you while he’s still in his boxers. First thing in the morning, guys tend to think of sex (past, present, and future).

So, what to say? First, it’s always good to show a little appreciation. If you’re new to this, and the four-letter words don’t feel right just yet, be vague when you reference the activities of the previous night. “Glad you texted me last night” or “Glad we could meet up last night” is a good start, followed by “Had so much fun!” Short and to the point.

If you get down-and-dirty with this person regularly, you can be a little more explicit. “So glad you called last night. I think my legs are still shaking!” Smiley face. You want to reference the hot, hot sex; this lets him know you’re ready for the next round whenever he is.

You can also make a joke to let him know you don’t take late-night booty calls too seriously. Start with, “Had so much fun last night….” followed by, “Did NOT know you were that bendy!” or “Can’t believe we broke the fish tank!” or “Well, now we know what you mean when you ask me to ‘study’!” A joke can add a little intimacy and make things much easier next time. (Now all he has to do is text you and ask you to study!) A word of caution: if you aren’t naturally funny, get a friend’s approval. Text humor is tricky.

You may be tempted to make a reference to alcohol – do not do this! Even if you were a waste case, it’s not good to give the impression that you are a drunken floozy. It also makes it sound like you regret it or are trying to justify everything you did.

He will likely respond, but his response isn’t super important. It will likely contain an emoticon or “LOL.” That’s just how guys are. Whatever he says, try not to read into it. You don’t want to have an extended conversation or make future plans. If what he says definitely requires a response, go ahead and write back, but if you don’t have to, then, well, don’t. He now knows you want to bang again. Leave it at that.

And leave it at that for at least a week. It can be tough, and you’re probably going to get tempted in a few days when you have too much wine at happy hour, but seriously … leave it alone. Booty calls need to stay few and far between, especially at first. A weekly booty call starts to feel like a date, and, well, if you wanted to date, you shouldn’t have gone to his place at 1 A.M.

Just send a text to insure that you’re on good terms and that you have officially talked to him when you aren’t trying to get ass. Even though the next time you talk to him will definitely be to get ass, guys don’t always like to be treated like the pieces of meat that they are. But get the first text right, and you will be getting it all right for many nights to come.

Related posts:

• How to Train Him To Stop Sending Late Night Booty Texts

• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting
• BBM Flirting: How to Text Using Blackberry Messenger

But by the next weekend, you might still be grounded in Text City, when you really want to take off to Dateopolis. Here’s how to get him to take it to the next level:

• First, do some research. (Um, stalking.) Can you friend him on Facebook? Google him. Try to eliminate the possibility that he’s a skeeze, a player, or in a relationship. That would be a bummer, but it’s just better you know up front.

• Drop hints about calling. If you’re ever discussing plans or even just saying, “Talk to you later,” say, “Call me later.” If he starts a new line of texting with “Hey, what’s up?” just say, “Hey driving, want to call me?” (If you live in a big city, “Hey walking, want to call me?” is quite acceptable as well.)
• Start spacing your texts out a little more. You don’t have to respond immediately. You can be “busy.” He may realize that he needs to use other means of communication to reach you.
• Ask him what he’s up to for the weekend. It’s appropriate to send this text on Thursday night. Keep it casual. “Anything exciting going on this weekend?” Hopefully he’ll take that as a way to start making plans.
• If he has a busy weekend planned, but you still think it’s worth it to let him know you’re interested, make a little joke. “Sounds like fun! Well I hope one meeting at X bar isn’t the only time we ever hang out.” Throw in an “LOL” or smiley face so you seem less intense about it.
• There’s a very, very good chance he will send you a text from the bar one or both nights. You can respond (you can also definitely wait until morning), but you shouldn’t be overly excited – and you definitely shouldn’t run to meet him, or, worse, run over to his place. He’s testing you. Don’t drop everything and rush to see him, or you’ll never be able to get he respect you deserve. You’ll also send a very clear, “I’m OK with being a last resort” message.

From that point on, you, for your part, are finished. He knows you’re interested. If he doesn’t at least make tentative plans for early next week, start moving on. It’s annoying when you’re all excited about a guy’s text and it doesn’t go anywhere, but it happens. But the faster you can call BS, the faster you’ll be back en route to finding the next best thing.

Related posts:

• Teasing Text Tips

• Flirtexting
• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting

There are also a lot of things to hate about it. If you really like a guy and he seems to like you mainly after dark, it’s easy to get annoyed. “A drunk guy wants me,” you think. “BFD.”

If he only texts you for booty, it might be time to stop planning the wedding. It hurts to admit that, but it’s better you do it before things get more involved. However, if you are dating or in a relationship, you can demand to be treated like the lady instead of the tramp.

Here are some tricks for redirecting his texting:

First, try not responding right away. You might be sitting at home thinking about how badly you want to do him, but it’s important to give the impression that you can resist. Late night booty call? Me? Well, I never…

Respond the next morning, and keep it light. You aren’t rejecting him; you’re rejecting the LNBT. “Hey! Would still love to hang out … what are you up to today?” With this, you’re sending a strong message: I want you, but sober, with advance notice.

It might take a few rejections for him to get the hint, but soon enough he should realize that his late-night texts are futile. He’s a smart boy; he’ll make the connection between getting some and legit plans. Within a few weeks, he should start planning accordingly and try to hang out earlier.

If he’s ballsy, he may call you out on why you didn’t respond to him or what you were doing. If you were out, just say, “Oh, my girl friends and I have a rule not to check our phones when we’re out together!” Make him feel like texting non-stop when at the bar is boring and lame. If you were being boring and lame and weren’t actually out, just say, “Hey, a girl’s gotta sleep!” The important thing is to set a standard that you aren’t attached to your phone at all times, waiting for him to give you attention.

If that doesn’t work, you may need to respond directly to the LNBT as soon as you get it. Again, keep it light. “Hey you. Can’t tonight, but would love to see you! What are you up to tomorrow?” Again, get him to make plans.

Don’t get caught up in giving him a “good excuse.” You don’t need to give an excuse. He’s welcome to ask, and if he does, just keep it broad and reference the time. “It’s getting late.” “Ah, wish you would have said something earlier.” “Past my bedtime.” He needs to realize that you’re a busy girl and you need to know more than 15 minutes in advance if you’re going to get down and dirty.

Sometimes you might find yourself just downright annoyed. You’re mid-dream, cozy in your jammies, and the oh-so-familiar text comes. If you’ve got a bitchy side, let her out. “Wow, is it last call already? I love how your booty call texts are so dependable!” Calling him out — and calling a LNBT for what it is — might shame him into chilling out. Once you send that message, he’ll probably respond with an “lol” to get a feel for your attitude. Stay strong; you’ve got to let him know you’re serious. “As much as I’d love to see you, I don’t get naked after 1 AM.” “Hey, when the makeup comes off the clothes stay on. Talk tomorrow.” “Sorry, can’t tonight.”

Don’t worry that this will make him think you’re not interested! If he’s any kind of guy worth dating, he will give up on the LNBT but not on you.

Related posts:

• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting

• The Guy’s Guide to Booty Call Texts That Work
• 10 ways to stop drunken texting

Here are some tips:

BBM is a great way to communicate with a potential love interest because it’s so immediate. It’s as convenient as texting, but there’s a faster delivery and response rate – ideal for flirting. Because you have to have permission to BBM people, it’s a bit more intimate than texting.

To get that closeness, it’s best to exchange PINs early on. If he whips out his Blackberry to take your number, say something like, “Oh what’s your PIN?” and add him right away. If you aren’t sure if he has a Blackberry, just ask him during a period of high-texting activity. He’ll understand that it’s just easier and more convenient than texting. Plus, BBM is still something of a novelty; since not everyone has it, most people are excited to find other users.

Once you’ve exchanged PINs, the general rule is that BBM is more like a phone or AIM conversation. When texting you can just shoot a random message whenever you want; in BBM, you should always start with a greeting. Use BBM when you have a specific topic to talk about or you’re making plans. Stick with texting when it comes to witty observations or, “I was just thinking about you” type messages. Once you’ve started chatting on BBM, immediate responses are expected. If that changes, a “BRB” or “Gotta go, talk more later” is absolutely necessary. You can delay between texts without any explanation, but not BBM.

Yes, He Did Read Your Message

BBM also has one feature that texting just can’t offer: it shows users when their sent messages are delivered and then read. This is the best/worst/best again thing about BBM. Gone are the days when a guy could say, “What? I never got that text…” or “Sorry, I passed out early last night and just read this.” Unfortunately that can be bad news for the ladies who are on the sending side. Now you’re faced with, well, evidence. Do you confront? Do you get feisty?

Just because a message is marked as read doesn’t mean a response needs to come within seconds. Sometimes people check a message just to get the red light on their phone to stop flashing, but don’t have time to actually respond to it. Before you freak out, ask yourself if he has a car. It’s so easy to check messages but nearly impossible to respond to them while driving. Give it a little time. Be rational – if it’s morning, give up until the afternoon when he’s probably had a few breaks. If it’s later in the day, give him until bedtime. If it’s a late-night booty BBM, and he hasn’t read it by last call, he very well could have called it an early night.

If too much time has lapsed, though, it’s important to be honest with yourself. Should you continue to BBM him? Should you switch to texting and calling? No. You can take the hint and file it under, “He’s just not that into me.” If he makes contact again, you’re absolutely allowed to call him on it. Don’t act crazy; a simple, “Hey, what’s up? I didn’t hear back from you yesterday” gets the point across. But again, if his explanation seems fishy, take the hint.

Some BBM Hacks

If you want to beat the system when it comes to him knowing whether or not you’ve read the messages he’s sending, you can – sort of. If you see he’s sent you a message, don’t open it. Start a new conversation with someone else (like a trusted girl friend). While you’re chatting with her, your message from him will flash across the bottom of the screen. You won’t be able to read the whole thing, but you can get an idea of what he wants without giving him the coveted “R” check mark.

You can also use BBM to your advantage when you need to guard yourself against unwanted attention. If a guy asks for your number at the bar, give him your pin instead. Then just don’t confirm his request to be added to your contacts. Whoops, sorry, buddy! If you’d rather not give it out at all, just play dumb. “Oh yeah, I have BBM but I never use it. Let me get your number.”

If a fling can’t take the hint and keeps sending you messages despite the fact that you’re just not that into him, change your BBM status. Your status doesn’t mean much – you can still talk to your friends no matter what it says – but a simple “SO BUSY!” will give you a little bit of protection.

If you really need to ditch someone, you can delete him from your contact list. You’ll simply be gone and he won’t be able to contact you again. It’s harsh, but it can be necessary at times. Even if he has your PIN saved, he’ll have to request to be re-added. It’s unlikely he will, but if he’s some sort of a masochist and does, you just don’t have to confirm him.

Oh … and the latest versions of BBM also make it possible to send a file right in the message window. This means sexting is so on! And no need to worry that he got your naked pic, freaked out, showed all his friends, and then decided never to talk to you again. He knows you know he read it, so he has to give you immediate feedback. Both of your red lights will be blinking like crazy.

Related posts:

• 10 ways to stop drunken texting

• Teasing Text Tips
• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting

But sending a text for a booty call takes finesse. Go too far, and you could crash and burn, turning your crush off and embarrassing yourself in the process. Play it safe and you may never leave the ground, while the super-confident chick with the overactive iPhone racks up the frequent flier miles with your man.

Here are some navigational tips:

First, book your seat ahead of time. At 9 PM, you may still be doing your make-up, but realize that two cocktails from now, you’re going to want someone to be doing you. The earlier you can text, the better. You’ll make him feel like he’s your first choice, and it’s good to be on his mind before he’s committed to a location for the whole night. Plus, knowing you have someone waiting to get naked with you later will make your whole evening more fun and carefree. Always hit send before 1 AM — after that, he may be too tired or too drunk.

If it’s someone you don’t know very well or haven’t hooked up with yet, the early text is crucial. You don’t how much hassle he’ll give you. It’s like going through airport security. You need that extra time.

Speaking of airport security, try to follow the no-liquids rule. Sure, a few glasses of wine are going to give you the courage to text something naughty, but when you start slurring your texts, that’s what we call turbulence. If you must text when wasted, don’t openly state that you’re wasted! Girls think this is a quick way to turn a guy on and land a booty call. Ready and willing turns a guy on. About to pass out in a pool of your own vomit … not so much.

Comment on the scenery. If you’re at a bar or club, text him that you’re stuck talking to boring douchebags. And let him know that you’re in a really fun mood. Wink face.

Learn the local language and get his attention with some key words and phrases. If it’s a new thing: fun, feeling, thinking, see you, want, get, play, hot, cold, bored. If it’s a sure thing: you, me, horny, naked, touch, come, want to, on top, f***, my bed … you get the idea.

Do not use any of the words in the latter category if you aren’t sure this person is a booty call yet. You want to be direct, but if they don’t know you too well, toss in an “lol” to cover yourself.

If it’s someone you’ve hooked up with before, take the shortest route possible. See what he’s up to and then remind him, “We always have so much fun when we’re together.” Use a few key words and you’re golden. No one wants a layover when they’re trying to get their lay over.

If he seems resistant (responses like “I don’t know” or “I’m kinda tired”), don’t read this as “Please get more explicit.” Make a safe exit and back off immediately. When a guy’s not interested, it’s best to not whip out the camera phone.

The later it gets, the more shameless you will look. If you’re just intent on getting off the ground, a better strategy is to text several guys early in the night and hold out hope for your first choice. If you get him, it’s like a free upgrade to First Class! And if you end up with an ex, well, they still give out snacks in Coach, don’t they?

When it comes to booty calls, texting is the ticket. If you’re too drunk, too shy, or too desperate, it’ll be “May Day!” But keep your cool and be up front, and you’re sure to get your passport stamped.

Related posts:

• The Guy’s Guide to Booty Call Texts That Work
• 10 Ways to Stop Drunken Texting
• The Dangers of Sexting Ur Pic

When it comes to dating, however, there are some rules of etiquette to consider while you’re courting your partner. Think for a second — you don’t want a potential love interest getting the wrong impression because you’re paying more attention to your phone. Ever been in the throes of a conversation, only to be interrupted by a ringtone and then a series of text messages that lasts for five minutes? If not, then count yourself lucky. Might as well face it: we’re not only addicted to love, but we’re wacko for our precious phones, too.

But no one’s saying you should ignore your cell. Living in the digital age, there are plenty of ways to use it to add a little charm and romance to an otherwise bland date. Technology is meant to help us after all, and why shouldn’t it help with dating, then? But you’ve got to understand when you’re using a phone to your advantage and when you’re abusing your cell at the expense of your date. Otherwise, you might start alienating yet another catch.

There are no hard-and-fast rules here, as a phone can just as easily save a bad date as ruin a good date. However, the following guidelines should help you navigate the tricky territory of dating in modern times:

• Don’t accept calls during a good date. That’s just rude. In fact, you should consider turning your phone off altogether. Nothing interrupts a great date more abruptly than a silly ringtone announcing your popularity to everyone.

• BUT do accept calls during a bad date. A contradiction? Perhaps. But you should always have an easy escape plan when it comes to blind dates, or maybe just those pseudo-dates you’re not sure are going to work. Maybe you just aren’t feeling the spark you thought you might, and would rather just bail. A strategic phone call from a friend can help.
• Don’t text during your date. Texting can seem even ruder than answering a phone call. Think about the message you’re sending your date: I’d much rather talk to this person who sent me some random note than to you. Not exactly romancing them with your subtle charm or witty anecdotes, now are you? And after you’ve ignored them once so early on, fat chance of getting them interested again. Use a little will power here, people.
• BUT do text for fun during your date. Texting isn’t off-limits. Truth is that texting can be fun, too. Why not send a flirty text to your date as they wait for your drinks at the bar? Or you can always settle a playful argument by texting ChaCha or Google. If you’re lucky, you could win the wager and have them come to your place for coffee or a drink.
• Don’t alienate your date by paying more attention to your phone. Your iPhone may manage your life and make your world that much easier, but you’re not looking for a relationship with your cell. Try not to even set yours on the table. Three’s a crowd, so make your choice: your date or your phone? And besides, you’re already on the date.
• BUT do try to incorporate technology into your date. Who said you can’t find a good sushi place on the west side? With all the applications out nowadays, you can make sure your date progresses smoothly from the restaurant to the bar back to your place without all the hiccups. Remember, smooth is a good quality.
• Don’t update Twitter about the date. Even if it’s going well, your followers can wait. Your date, however, can’t. Plus, if you’re so plugged in that you need to keep everyone updated about your every move, then you might need to check yourself into rehab and kick the habit. A first or second date is definitely no time to flaunt your geeky technology or social network addictions.
• BUT do talk about your networks. Almost everyone, even the baby boomers now, have a Facebook account. Some even twitter, blerp, digg, and blog the night away. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your online social spheres — if anything, it’ll give you another way to connect later. Just to prattle on. Hobbies are healthy. Obsessions aren’t.

Your phone is an integral piece of technology and convenience that largely defines how you interact with the world. However, never lose sight of the fact that you’re actually on a date, and that playing with your phone is not only rude, but unattractive, too. A healthy balance between human interaction and cell phone shenanigans can definitely help a romance blossom — the trick is to remember your priorities: date first, phone later.

Comment below: What are your phone rules when it comes to first dates?

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• Teasing Text Tips
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• If you see someone you think is cute, use your cell phone to text “crush” + your guy’s badge number. If he “crushes” you back, congrats!-you both get a message and can approach the other with confidence. If you’re normally shy, this feature is gold. Note: if he doesn’t “crush” you back, no worries-no message is sent on your behalf.

• If you’re feeling bold, text “wink” + badge # and a message (e.g. meet me at the bar, hot stuff)
• See the perfect girl for your “non-date”? Match them together by texting “match” + both badge #’s. They’ll both get a message that they’ve been matched.

Thanks to @SimoneGrant for the tip!

Once you’ve been dating someone for a while and are comfortable enough to talk about new positions over brunch, you can send him X-rated stuff. But if you’ve been dating for less than a month, it’s best to keep it PG-13. The point of these texts is to tease — you want him to snap that phone shut with a little spring in his step because you’re starting to be more forward about your interest and attraction. The point is to be fun and outgoing, and leave him wanting more.

DO start simple. If you haven’t talked in a few days and you’re ready to get a conversation going, a simple “Hi :-)” lets him know you’re thinking of him and are ready to flirtext. DON’T say, “What are you doing?” That comes across as though you’re stalking him or accusing him of something.

If you want to plant a sexy seed that can bloom at your date later, DO let him in on the sweet way you’re spending your afternoon. “Just doing a little shopping at Victoria’s Secret!” or “About to relax with a glass of wine in the tub.” Anything that gives him the idea that you’re doing something sensual is a good idea. DON’T overshare. He doesn’t need to know you’re naked or pleasuring yourself.

DON’T underestimate the power of your camera phone! But leave a little something to be desired. DO try a “What do you think of my new skirt?” text that shows your skirt from a sexy angle that reveals as much as it conceals. DON’T do this if you haven’t been dating for very long.

DO flirt by being indirect. If you’re stuck at a lame work event, make a joke that lets him know you’re thinking of him. “All this super interesting talk of upcoming projects and outreach almost makes me miss you less.”

If he’s leading the conversation, DO ask questions. “Oh yeah??” “How come?” “Why’s that?” He might be trying to flirtext you; questions will give him the green light.

DON’T use 2 mny abbrvs. It’s hard to find a text sexy if it’s heavy on the symbols, numbers, and shorthand. “Want 2 do u” is trashy. “I want you tonight” is hot. DO use emoticons to keep it from sounding like an old-fashioned romance novel.

DO make flirty promises as you’re making plans. “I promise I won’t keep you up all night.” “Don’t worry, I won’t make you work too hard.” Texts like that are going to make him want you to do all those things.

DON’T be too serious! If you’re out and about and want to meet up with him — on the town or in bed — the word “play” is a great go-to. “Come out and play with me!” is sure to get his attention, and it’s good for a new relationship or if you’re shy.

DON’T state that you’re drunk. You can say “having a cocktail” or “at the bar,” but starting off with “Just did a body shot!!!! Where u @??” is going to lead to trouble.

If you are a little bolder, DO ask him what he’s up to. Follow up with, “That’s no fun! Wouldn’t you rather come out and take advantage of me?” The answer to that is always going to be YES.

If it’s getting late in the evening and you’re chatting with the intent to score an invite to his place, DON’T send a blatantly sexual text laced with words you can’t say on TV (and you will be tempted after that third glass of wine). DO say, “All my friends are ready to leave, but I’m not tired yet.” Done and done!

Comment below: Share your own teasing text tips!

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