The main objective should be to let him know you enjoyed yourself and that you know where you stand. It’s good to give a guy an ego boost and not completely ignore him after a hook-up, but if you’re too clingy, you will be seen as “that girl.” He shouldn’t wonder if you’re trying to get a date out of the deal.

First, plan on texting or BBMing him. A Facebook message or a phone call is way too formal and will freak most guys out out. Play it safe and stick with your cell.

This is a situation where timing is everything. If you spent the night, wait until the next night to send a text. Don’t be overeager; wait until 8 or 9 P.M. This is the time of night when everyone is browsing Facebook and thinking about sex (past, present, future). You want to be on his mind during prime time. If you didn’t spend the night (look at you, Miss Hit It and Quit It!) then you can text or BBM him the morning after the hook-up. Even though you aren’t the cuddling type, you want him to think of you while he’s still in his boxers. First thing in the morning, guys tend to think of sex (past, present, and future).

So, what to say? First, it’s always good to show a little appreciation. If you’re new to this, and the four-letter words don’t feel right just yet, be vague when you reference the activities of the previous night. “Glad you texted me last night” or “Glad we could meet up last night” is a good start, followed by “Had so much fun!” Short and to the point.

If you get down-and-dirty with this person regularly, you can be a little more explicit. “So glad you called last night. I think my legs are still shaking!” Smiley face. You want to reference the hot, hot sex; this lets him know you’re ready for the next round whenever he is.

You can also make a joke to let him know you don’t take late-night booty calls too seriously. Start with, “Had so much fun last night….” followed by, “Did NOT know you were that bendy!” or “Can’t believe we broke the fish tank!” or “Well, now we know what you mean when you ask me to ‘study’!” A joke can add a little intimacy and make things much easier next time. (Now all he has to do is text you and ask you to study!) A word of caution: if you aren’t naturally funny, get a friend’s approval. Text humor is tricky.

You may be tempted to make a reference to alcohol – do not do this! Even if you were a waste case, it’s not good to give the impression that you are a drunken floozy. It also makes it sound like you regret it or are trying to justify everything you did.

He will likely respond, but his response isn’t super important. It will likely contain an emoticon or “LOL.” That’s just how guys are. Whatever he says, try not to read into it. You don’t want to have an extended conversation or make future plans. If what he says definitely requires a response, go ahead and write back, but if you don’t have to, then, well, don’t. He now knows you want to bang again. Leave it at that.

And leave it at that for at least a week. It can be tough, and you’re probably going to get tempted in a few days when you have too much wine at happy hour, but seriously … leave it alone. Booty calls need to stay few and far between, especially at first. A weekly booty call starts to feel like a date, and, well, if you wanted to date, you shouldn’t have gone to his place at 1 A.M.

Just send a text to insure that you’re on good terms and that you have officially talked to him when you aren’t trying to get ass. Even though the next time you talk to him will definitely be to get ass, guys don’t always like to be treated like the pieces of meat that they are. But get the first text right, and you will be getting it all right for many nights to come.

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There are also a lot of things to hate about it. If you really like a guy and he seems to like you mainly after dark, it’s easy to get annoyed. “A drunk guy wants me,” you think. “BFD.”

If he only texts you for booty, it might be time to stop planning the wedding. It hurts to admit that, but it’s better you do it before things get more involved. However, if you are dating or in a relationship, you can demand to be treated like the lady instead of the tramp.

Here are some tricks for redirecting his texting:

First, try not responding right away. You might be sitting at home thinking about how badly you want to do him, but it’s important to give the impression that you can resist. Late night booty call? Me? Well, I never…

Respond the next morning, and keep it light. You aren’t rejecting him; you’re rejecting the LNBT. “Hey! Would still love to hang out … what are you up to today?” With this, you’re sending a strong message: I want you, but sober, with advance notice.

It might take a few rejections for him to get the hint, but soon enough he should realize that his late-night texts are futile. He’s a smart boy; he’ll make the connection between getting some and legit plans. Within a few weeks, he should start planning accordingly and try to hang out earlier.

If he’s ballsy, he may call you out on why you didn’t respond to him or what you were doing. If you were out, just say, “Oh, my girl friends and I have a rule not to check our phones when we’re out together!” Make him feel like texting non-stop when at the bar is boring and lame. If you were being boring and lame and weren’t actually out, just say, “Hey, a girl’s gotta sleep!” The important thing is to set a standard that you aren’t attached to your phone at all times, waiting for him to give you attention.

If that doesn’t work, you may need to respond directly to the LNBT as soon as you get it. Again, keep it light. “Hey you. Can’t tonight, but would love to see you! What are you up to tomorrow?” Again, get him to make plans.

Don’t get caught up in giving him a “good excuse.” You don’t need to give an excuse. He’s welcome to ask, and if he does, just keep it broad and reference the time. “It’s getting late.” “Ah, wish you would have said something earlier.” “Past my bedtime.” He needs to realize that you’re a busy girl and you need to know more than 15 minutes in advance if you’re going to get down and dirty.

Sometimes you might find yourself just downright annoyed. You’re mid-dream, cozy in your jammies, and the oh-so-familiar text comes. If you’ve got a bitchy side, let her out. “Wow, is it last call already? I love how your booty call texts are so dependable!” Calling him out — and calling a LNBT for what it is — might shame him into chilling out. Once you send that message, he’ll probably respond with an “lol” to get a feel for your attitude. Stay strong; you’ve got to let him know you’re serious. “As much as I’d love to see you, I don’t get naked after 1 AM.” “Hey, when the makeup comes off the clothes stay on. Talk tomorrow.” “Sorry, can’t tonight.”

Don’t worry that this will make him think you’re not interested! If he’s any kind of guy worth dating, he will give up on the LNBT but not on you.

Related posts:

• The Girls’ Guide to Booty Call Texting

• The Guy’s Guide to Booty Call Texts That Work
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But sending a text for a booty call takes finesse. Go too far, and you could crash and burn, turning your crush off and embarrassing yourself in the process. Play it safe and you may never leave the ground, while the super-confident chick with the overactive iPhone racks up the frequent flier miles with your man.

Here are some navigational tips:

First, book your seat ahead of time. At 9 PM, you may still be doing your make-up, but realize that two cocktails from now, you’re going to want someone to be doing you. The earlier you can text, the better. You’ll make him feel like he’s your first choice, and it’s good to be on his mind before he’s committed to a location for the whole night. Plus, knowing you have someone waiting to get naked with you later will make your whole evening more fun and carefree. Always hit send before 1 AM — after that, he may be too tired or too drunk.

If it’s someone you don’t know very well or haven’t hooked up with yet, the early text is crucial. You don’t how much hassle he’ll give you. It’s like going through airport security. You need that extra time.

Speaking of airport security, try to follow the no-liquids rule. Sure, a few glasses of wine are going to give you the courage to text something naughty, but when you start slurring your texts, that’s what we call turbulence. If you must text when wasted, don’t openly state that you’re wasted! Girls think this is a quick way to turn a guy on and land a booty call. Ready and willing turns a guy on. About to pass out in a pool of your own vomit … not so much.

Comment on the scenery. If you’re at a bar or club, text him that you’re stuck talking to boring douchebags. And let him know that you’re in a really fun mood. Wink face.

Learn the local language and get his attention with some key words and phrases. If it’s a new thing: fun, feeling, thinking, see you, want, get, play, hot, cold, bored. If it’s a sure thing: you, me, horny, naked, touch, come, want to, on top, f***, my bed … you get the idea.

Do not use any of the words in the latter category if you aren’t sure this person is a booty call yet. You want to be direct, but if they don’t know you too well, toss in an “lol” to cover yourself.

If it’s someone you’ve hooked up with before, take the shortest route possible. See what he’s up to and then remind him, “We always have so much fun when we’re together.” Use a few key words and you’re golden. No one wants a layover when they’re trying to get their lay over.

If he seems resistant (responses like “I don’t know” or “I’m kinda tired”), don’t read this as “Please get more explicit.” Make a safe exit and back off immediately. When a guy’s not interested, it’s best to not whip out the camera phone.

The later it gets, the more shameless you will look. If you’re just intent on getting off the ground, a better strategy is to text several guys early in the night and hold out hope for your first choice. If you get him, it’s like a free upgrade to First Class! And if you end up with an ex, well, they still give out snacks in Coach, don’t they?

When it comes to booty calls, texting is the ticket. If you’re too drunk, too shy, or too desperate, it’ll be “May Day!” But keep your cool and be up front, and you’re sure to get your passport stamped.

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Perhaps you’re no stranger to booty calls, and maybe you don’t need any convincing about the potential of sexy midnight texts. What you do need to know is how to send a text to your potential “friend with benefits” that will turn your lonely night into a lively and memorable evening between the sheets.

Timing is of the essence. How attractive do you think it looks when you drunktext a woman (while probably botching your sentences) moments before dawn? You can’t just spring something like hooking up on someone at the last minute. Truth is, she may have already made plans with another guy. Check in with her beforehand. Text her an hour before you’re headed home, and suggest meeting. Maybe even touch base with her earlier in the afternoon and make your intentions known.

Texting is foreplay. Sexting and erotic messages sent throughout the day and night can work as amazing foreplay. Once her imagination gets moving, there’s no telling the places it’ll take her (hopefully one of which is your bedroom). Plus, digital foreplay sent back and forth between phones can become ideal for the busy urban professional who may want a happy ending to a seemingly tireless week.

Subtext is golden. There are indeed times when you can simply come out and say, “Wanna meet up for some hot sex?” but of course, that’s not always the case. Many women may want some lighthearted banter (as in, less crude language) leading up to the big event. Replace the word “sex” with “play.” Don’t graphically describe a certain position, but instead hint at how much you desire her and how much fun you’ll both have tonight. Use a little discretion, and leave what will happen in the bedroom behind closed doors.

Go with your instincts. Only you really know how your booty call will react to certain hints and advances in the wee hours of the night. Think about the particular woman you’re texting before you send your suggestion for meeting, and adapt your approach to suit her needs. Obviously, you don’t want to dupe anyone, so play by her rules, especially because you’re the one asking for the midnight rendezvous, after all.

Practice makes perfect. Whether you’re a one woman type of guy or you’ve arranged a network of booty calls throughout the region, you need to develop your texting social skills. Every woman is unique, and consequently, they each have their own terms. Some will prefer being blunt (let’s do the nasty!), while others would rather you suggest a movie and a glass of wine to lighten the mood (Last Tango in Paris. Merlot. My place? You game?). Simply put, stick with what works, whomever you’re texting.

Singled out. Everyone wants to feel special, including you — that’s part of the delight in hooking up, after all. And there’s probably a good reason why you’re trying to meet with the woman you’re texting. Maybe she’s a tiger in the sack, maybe she’s sings an operatic aria when she climaxes that’s music to your ears, or maybe she’s just too cute to resist. Whatever the case, make certain you mention what attracts you to her in particular, and single her out as the specific person with whom you want to share your eventful night.

Honesty is the best policy. Never trick another person into sleeping with you — everyone knows that’s just sleazy, and you’ll ruin your chances of hooking up again. Even the simplest of lies can lead to a seemingly endless battle of explanations. (What’s this Staples nametag for? I thought you said you were a racecar driver?) For that matter, women are particularly good at smelling a rat, too. If you’re in a relationship or maybe just seeing someone else, be upfront and truthful right away. You’d be surprised how far decency and common courtesy will get you in the long run.

Of course, following the above guidelines is no guarantee of success, but they’ll definitely help you approach the art of sexual texting with some major advantages. All in all, just be yourself and tell her what you want. Avoid whining, begging, and ultimatums — which are obvious mood killers — and don’t pretend like a booty call is anything but just that: meeting for sex. Conversations about the future (whether initiated by you or her) can really put a heavy spin on an otherwise playful encounter. Sure, a saucy text message could lead to the bedroom and then to something more serious, but unless you’re both on the same page, someone will inevitably walk the plank to heartbreak.

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